A Secret to My Grave
by creamymint
Summary: "Why didn't you tell me, Akihito? Why?" Asami snarl dangerously, hovering over Akihito. "Even if I told you, you can't fix this Asami. Not this time."
1. Chapter 1: The News

**Title: ** A secret to my grave

**Pairing: **Asami/Akihito

**Spoilers: **None… I guess?

**Disclaimer: **Beloved Akithito and Asami is not mine, they belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's note**: This is my first fic ever. I've never written any fic before, I always indulge reading other's work. Don't know what made me write this stuff. Boredom perhaps... or the sense of not knowing what the heck I should do with my spare time. So, here it is... my first attempt. Sorry for the sucky grammar. Have mercy on me... hehehe. (Since I moved this story from my LJ as a backup, for now there's only up to chap 3 for this one.)

**Chapter 1: The News **

It was a bad day for Akihito. A very, very bad day. He had lost his job, fall into a puddle of mud, almost got run over by a car and most of all… he had fought with Asami. Sure they've fought before but it was different this time around. Yeah, maybe it was his fault for spatting such cruel words to Asami, thought Akihito. But then again, the bastard shouldn't have requested such a thing in the first place! Akihito growl once again as he realized that his train of thought had centered yet again on Asami. The perverted crime lord. _His_ perverted crime lord. His perverted lover. The love of… hold on a second. What the hell did he just think? Did the rain mess up with his brain or something? There's no chance in hell he's going to admit that, even if it is in his own mind.

Frowning, Akihito ran towards the nearest bus stop to take a shelter from the heavy rain. He almost reached it when suddenly he felt his knees gave way, resulting in his body falling face first on the pavement unceremoniously. He could only growl in frustration as the people around him tried to stifle a chuckle. Thankfully, he had managed to save his prized camera from the fall.

_The fuck just happened?_ Akihito thought while heaving himself up from the ground. Lately, his legs seemed to felt weak all the time. He tend to tripped over nothing and lose his footing even if he was walking in a straight line. At first he had thought it was all the bastard's fault. Asami did seem to find pleasure in fucking him so hard into the mattress until his legs felt numb. But since the occurrence of this recent symptom didn't match with their daily "activity", Akihito shrug it away.

Maybe it's the result of living a luxury life? Ever since he moved in with Asami, he didn't have to work at odd hours all the time. Sure, he does some favors when he was needed but that's it. Asami had made sure he wasn't snooping around his business or ever get near around the news of the underworld anymore. He felt caged for the first few months but it wasn't such a big deal once he got used to it. Though, he does miss the feeling of adrenaline running through his veins every now and then. Akihito couldn't help but smile at the thought.

Maybe his body was protesting the pampered life he lived now. He needed some way to move his body. He needed a healthy exercise. And no, the exercise context does not involve the word Asami and bed! That thought had somehow remind him of the last time he had whine to the bastard about his lack of "exercise". Boy oh boy, did he regret saying that. The next thing he knows, he was tied up to the bed for almost a week while Asami demonstrated various "exercise" moves. Akihito shuddered at the memory.

Whatever the case is, Akihito is determined to find out then answer before the next big assignment. It'll bring him no good if his legs turn jello when he's ditching the thugs. Even worse if he's caught red-handed by them. Asami will certainly be pissed if that happened.

~A~A~A~

_Shit! Shit! SHIT!_ Akithito cursed as he ran desperately for his life. He looked back and cruse once again at the thugs behind him. Everything went smoothly just a few minutes ago. He had caught a clear image of the thug's big boss doing an exchange with a politician without any interruption. The thugs didn't even notice his presence! He had smiled victoriously as he packed his bags to leave but the inevitable happened. His legs gave away when he was climbing down the stairs (trying desperately not to make a sound) and he tumbled down the stairs.

As much as it hurts him to move after the fall, he knew immediately that his life was at stake. The sound of the impact echoed loudly throughout the building, signaling the thugs his presence. Hell, even a deaf person would be able to hear him! Cursing at his damned luck, Akihito quickly ran towards the nearest exit while the thugs followed suit. He had tried to ditch them ever since.

It would be easy to ditch them if his body was in the best condition. But right now, his legs weren't cooperating at all. It felt as if the bone in his legs were gone, melted somehow. He couldn't run as much as he couldn't walk. The only thing that managed to move him forward was his hands. He took hold of rusted steel he found lying in the alley and dragged his body with all his might. It was HELL trying to drag his body along with his immobilized leg while trying to ditch people who were crazy enough to kill him if he ever stopped running from them.

_Running?_ Akihito couldn't help but to smirk at the irony. Rather than running, he was crawling!

"Move dammit!" Akihito hissed at his legs desperately. "Move!" his eyes widen in panic when one of the thugs was almost upon him. "GOD DAMMIT MOVEE!" he screamed desperately when the thug aim the pistol at him. As if a miracle, Akihito could finally sense the nerve in his legs and scrambled to his feet evading the bullet that was aimed directly at his head.

~A~A~A~

Akihito arrived at the penthouse slightly 3am. Normally, Asami would have been home around this time but he was away this week. Something about business contract in Italy. Whatever, as if Akihito cared at the moment. He's thankful that the bastard wasn't around to witness his state. He looked awful with mud covering his entire skin. Even the receptionist gasps in disgust at his sight.

With a sigh of relief, Akihito dumped his mud covered sneakers in front of the door and headed straight towards the bathroom. Once cleaned, he dumped himself on the bed unceremoniously. His mind wandered off to the event that night. The stairs, the thug, the pistol and his leg. What's wrong with him? No rather, the question was… what's wrong with his leg?

It's as if he couldn't control his leg's movement. His legs felt sluggish… no… at that moment, he felt as if his legs had turned into stone! He eyed his leg suspiciously. He tried to move his right leg and it moved according to his will. He stood up and pace around the room, trying to catch the slightest numbs feeling in his leg but everything seemed just fine. He tried stretching to see whether it was cramps that he had experienced. Nothing. He jumped, tried to do a split… but nothing seems off.

He finally gave up and decided to retreat for the night. He was about to climb onto his bed when his legs finally gave away. The next thing he knew, his head banged against the chair and he was plunged into darkness.

~A~A~A~

Akihito woke up with a start the next morning. He was lying next to chair and he wondered a bit why he was lying there before he remembered what happened. His head throbbed painfully as he heaved himself up slowly. He sat on his bed, taking a few minutes trying to ease the pain in his head. His gaze fall on his lap. It was starting to worry him quite a bit. Heck, he could be dead if he had slipped and fall inside the bathroom! Akihito bit his lip as he made a decision. He truly needs to see a doctor, just in case, to see whether his legs have a brain of their own or something much more worrying. The later thought sends cold shiver down his spine. He hoped not.

"Takaba-san, does your family have any history of walking or speech problems?" asked the woman in white, Miya-san, with a serious expression.

It was a strange question in Akithito's opinion. Heck, the whole morning has been strange. He went to a normal clinic, before he was referred to a hospital where he was urged to meet this neurologist that has been constantly asking him strange questions and doing some weird test to him. But what's the point in whining? At least she's trying to figure out what's wrong with his damned leg.

Akihito shook his head. "No. Not that I'm aware of."

Miya-san nodded her head understandingly; her eyes were laced with pity. "Takaba-san, what I'm going to tell you is going to surprise you, I'm sure. Is there anyone we can contact? Any relatives perhaps? I'm sure you need all the support you can get."

Akihito immediately thought of Asami, but he chased the thought away as quickly as it came. "No… but I don't understand. What's this support all about? What's wrong with me? Are you saying…"

"Calm down, Takaba-san" Miya-san patted Akihito's shoulder. She eyed him for a few moments before she took in a deep breath to deliver the news to Akihito as slowly as possible. "You're diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis."

Akihito could only blink at that. "Amy-something what?" he asked confusedly before Miya-san began to explain in simpler terms.

"It's a disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord."

"Is it dangerous?" Akihito gape, his heart began to panic at the sound of "nerve cells" and "brain". Akihito knew he wasn't that bright, but at least he knows that anything related to the brain would not be a good sign.

"This disease would make the brain to lost control over muscle movement or initiate it" Miya-san said slowly. "From the average percentage, the chance of survival for this disease is up to three to five years…" Miya-san went on and explained further into detail about his condition. But Akihito was lost in his head. He couldn't grasp what he had just heard. He was dying?

No, this is absurd! It can't be possible! He was fine just a month ago. This must be a joke. He started to laugh, thinking that Miya-san was indeed playing with him. Maybe Asami was playing a joke on him. Yeah, that bastard could even bribe a neurologist if he wants to. Asami could even own this place, who knows? But Akihito knew, deep down inside it was the truth after all.

Miya-san watched Akihito pitifully as he laughed while a tear made its way down his cheek. A heart-wrenching cry followed suit.


	2. Chapter 2: The Decision

**Title: **A secret to my grave

**Pairing: **Asami/Akihito

**Spoilers: **None… I guess?

**Disclaimer: **Beloved Akithito and Asami is not mine, they belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Chapter 2: The Decision **

Akihito couldn't remember when he arrived home. Everything seems so surreal at the moment. Miya-san had given him her card in case of any emergency. Now it seems he was scheduled to meet up with her weekly. To check up on his condition, as well as if he's having any difficulties aside from his leg. According to Miya-san, the patient's symptom depends solely on the patient itself. There's a case that the patient live up to 12 years because of his undying will to survive. Hearing that, a small hope bloomed inside Akihito. Though he knows, nothing could change his fate now. He would die, sooner or later.

But he was still unsure what kind of symptoms; aside from weak muscle in his legs, which he could suffer. Taking a deep breath, Akihito went straight towards his computer, plugs it up and started to search for the said disease on the internet. He went through various articles, subconsciously trying to find any cure or news that the patient didn't end up dying in the end. But they always do. Even when the patient was showing tremendous results. Even when the patient holds on tightly until the end. They died in the end. Dead. Fucking dead.

Akihito slammed his hand hardly on the keyboard. His feeling of dread was so great that he wished someone was here beside him. Comforting him. Soothing him with words of promise that everything will be all right in the end. That someone was none other than Asami Ryuuichi. His lover.

Where is that old bastard when he needs him? Akihito thought pitifully. It has been four fucking days since he last saw Asami in the flesh. They did exchange calls and text messages, but right now Akihito really wanted to snuggle up the old man's chest and cried his heart out. He'll be damned if Asami thought his unusual behavior was because he had missed the old man so much, that he was offering an invitation for sex outwardly. He didn't care at the moment. All he wants was to see Asami again.

To gaze upon those piercing golden eyes that seems to know his deepest darkest secret. To lock their lips in a passionate dance. To melt completely from their hard but always pleasurable love making. Yes, all of it seems so nice to him at the moment. But he knew, just by Asami being by his side he could feel at ease again. In fact, he could feel "alive" again. As much as Akihito wanted to deny, a part of him died the moment he knew about the disease. And now, the only person who could make his fears fly away was continents away from him.

Akihito subconsciously typed in Asami's name in the internet search. Various photo of Asami popped up in the search engine. Most of the photo was either blurry or blocked, unsurprisingly. But there was one that seemed to survive. It was a portrait shot of Asami, obviously taken from a distance since he was talking to someone. Akihito stared longingly at the picture before he clicked and save it into his computer.

Before he knew it, his cheeks were wet from his tears. _Come back soon, you bastard_ Akihito thought while glaring at the picture intensely.

~A~A~A~

The symptoms of ALS (in short for Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, for Akihito couldn't even pronounce it properly to store into memory) was deeply etched inside his brain. Mostly it evolves around muscle weaknesses that could infect his arm, leg, speech and even breathing. It doesn't really evolve accordingly, but impairment of speech and difficulty of breathing or even swallowing was the last stage for the disease. It seems that mostly the patient died because of unable to breathe. Akihito gulps at the dreadful realization. Akihito knew he was going to die someday… everyone knew. But he never thought he would experience this torment. Dying while losing his senses one by one… slowly.

Even the thought alone sends cold shiver down his spine. Today was the third day since he was diagnosed with ALS and it has been two days since we had been wallowing in self-pity. But today was different somehow. He woke up with a fresh mind, a fresh start to everything. Maybe it was all because he knew Asami will be coming home tonight. The thought alone makes him smile stupidly at the mirror.

It was unbecoming for him to be so happy knowing that Asami would be by his side in mere hours away. He knew he was acting idiotically, but he didn't care. He wanted to see the old bastard so much that he thought of picking him up at the airport! He wanted to pour out his misery at Asami. He wanted to….then suddenly a warning flashes inside his mind.

_What would Asami do if he knows?_ Akihito thought worriedly. It was true that Akihito wanted to pour out his feelings of dread as soon as he sees the old man, but he never thought of the consequences. Will Asami caged him up forever? Will Asami treat him differently? So many questions popped inside his head that he was getting rather hesitant to meet Asami again.

Images of him being bed-ridden, Asami not allowing him going out freely anymore. Asami treating him so tenderly as if Akihito would break by the slightest touch. Of Asami finally had enough of "babysitting" the sick Akihito. No… no… NOOO! Akihito shook his head, trying to calm his panic attack. He didn't want that. He didn't want Asami to treat him different from now. He didn't want to be caged up forever, waiting for his death to come.

He wanted to be free. He wanted to spend the last of his remaining days without worrying over his condition. He wanted to fool around with his friends, caring nothing about the world. Most of all, he wanted to spend his remaining days with Asami without alerting his lover! Akihito dropped heavily on the couch as realization hit him. He felt as if cold water had splashed over his face, waking him up from his dream. This wasn't a dream where he could happily stride towards Asami without the older man taking certain actions. This was the reality… where anything could happen if he spilled the beans.

Maybe he was exaggerating with the Asami situation. Who knows, maybe Asami already knew his condition all along. After all, since when did anything ever escape the older man's knowledge? But then again, what if he didn't know and Akihito had just burst the bubble himself?

For the first time since he met Asami, Akihito was… scared. He was scared of telling Asami the truth. Heck, he was scared of Asami knowing it! Akihito bit his lower lip hardly, drawing blood. Should he tell him? Or is it better to leave it unsaid?

Whatever the case was, he will know whether he have the guts to say it out loud when Asami is standing in front of him. He prayed that tonight will go on smoothly without any incidents.

~A~A~A~

True to his words, Akihito couldn't utter a single word the moment Asami stepped into the penthouse. He could only blink idiotically as the older man stride towards him elegantly. His warm palm resting gently on Akihito's cheek, caressing his jaw tenderly.

"Miss me?" Asami asked teasingly while staring deep into Akihito's eyes. The moment Akihito heard Asami's voice, the back of his eyes sting badly. He knew very well that he'll cry if he blinks. He settled for a frown instead.

"Ha! You wish!" Akihito managed to reply in an annoyed tone with a frown. _If only you knew…._

Asami chuckled at Akihito's stubbornness. It was obvious that his sweet Akihito had missed him badly. From the way he leaned on his palm from the slightest touch. Though Asami wouldn't say that aloud. It was one of the pleasures he gained whenever he came back from one of his trips. Akihito is just like one of those cats waiting patiently for the owner to come back. And of course, there was no denying that Akihito was his. His alone.

He caressed his thumb over Akihito's lower lip when he saw the cut. "What happened?" he asked just for the sake of continuing their conversation. He didn't expect Akihito to avoid his gaze while stammering a "Nothing". Now, that piqued his curiosity. There's always something behind Akihito's nothing. Smirking, he drawled a "hnn…" before trapping Akihito between arms.

"What are you hiding, Akihito?" Asami whispered hotly against Akihito's ear. Akihito couldn't help but shudder against the warm breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing his legs not give up then and there.

"Like I said… nothing you should be concerned of" Akihito replied through clenched teeth.

"You know I could make you talk, regardless. You should save us the time and tell me now. Or…." Asami drawled on "were you waiting to be punished that badly?" he purred against Akihito's throat before nipping it none too gently. Akihito let out a gasps at the contact.

Akihito couldn't stand it no longer. He knew Asami was just playing on his nerves daring him to make the first move. Usually Akihito would spar equally until he couldn't stand it anymore, but not tonight. He wanted Asami badly. He NEEDED Asami _that _badly. The next thing he knew, he had dragged Asami for a fierce kiss which had earned him a hard long pleasurable sex in the end.

After their vigorous "activity", Asami collapsed next to Akihito, pulling him into his embrace. Asami fall asleep almost immediately. It was rare to see him falling asleep before Akihito and Akihito took this time to carefully appreciate the sight before. The way Asami's face was pulled into a dreamless sleep. His jawlines. His long eye lashes. His exquisite face. Akihito kept it all inside his memory. He ponders now that it was indeed the best decision not to tell Asami about his condition.

He didn't want to shatter moments like this with his inevitable fate. True, Asami will notice the changes in him when the symptoms are much more evident. But for now, he wanted to cherish every single moment before that dreadful news dawn to his lover. He knew Asami would be upset if he finds out later. Akihito didn't care. He didn't want to utter the words to Asami, as if admitting defeat to the disease. Maybe… just maybe, this will be their final game together before the checkmate. And of course, Asami will be victorious yet again. But this time, the end will be Akihito closing his eyes for the final time.


	3. Chapter 3: The Longing

**Title: **A secret to my grave

**Pairing: **Asami/Akihito

**Spoilers: **None… I guess?

**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Chapter 3: The Longing **

The night was bliss for the couple. The next morning, however, was a different story. Akihito woke up feeling as if he was electrocuted. His whole body was sore. His _ass _sore so much that Akihito wished he was comatose instead! In fact, he should have just slept the whole day. It's not like he had anything scheduled… well, not anymore. Following Miya-san's advice, he had declined any elaborate jobs and that included snooping around the underworld. It has become too dangerous for him. True, Akihito was reluctant to let go of his job (his hobby even) at first, but the reminder of his last stakeout gave him the final blow. If it wasn't for that one miracle, he would be dead now.

With a heavy sigh, Akihito heaves his body up with his right elbow, his gaze falling upon the opposite side of the bed. Unsurprisingly enough, Asami was no longer beside him. Perhaps he has already gone out. The sound of running waters from the bathroom answered his musing. Akihito flung his leg over the bed slowly. He sat on the edge of the bed, taking huge gulps of air when the pain shot up through his back. He groans trying to ease the pain.

_That's it! No more sex for the rest of the week! _Akihito screams silently in frustration. Though he knew very well that it will fall on deaf ears if Asami was involved. If Asami stares him down with that oh so intense gaze that promise him a lot of pleasure, he will surely give in right there and then. He sighs again.

"This is a rare sight" an amused smooth voice startled Akihito form his musings. Akihito looked up and he was greeted by the sight of Asami in a towel leaning against the wall. He silently curse himself when his heart picked up pace just at the sight of the older man. He could feel a blush working its way to his cheeks the longer he stared at those chiseled wet body.

"What?" Akihito asked, annoyed. Asami should know very well that he wasn't a morning person. Especially if they had just have three rounds of hard sex the night before. Akihito always ends up cranky in the morning. Who wouldn't? He was the one at the receiving end after all!

"I knew something was strange the moment I heard that sigh" Asami strolled towards him "What aren't you telling me, Akihito? What are you hiding so intently… that you didn't even complained how I handled you last night?" he drawled on, a smirk evident on his face.

"Though I must say, I enjoyed your performance" his voice was laced with amusement. Akihito could only blush deeply at that. He gritted his teeth in frustration. The bastard sure has a way with words to make it sound like he had been the one to seduce the older man.

"Like I said, it's none of your damn business!" Akihito snapped angrily. "I just had a fight with Kou, that's all. Since when do you care if I mope around anyway?" Akihito surprises himself that he could make up such a lame excuse. It's not his fault anyway, he basically couldn't think straight at the moment. He thought with the distraction last night, Asami would not think about it so much. It surprises him that the older man seems more intent to know now than ever.

"You've made it my business the moment you cried yourself to sleep last night" Asami state the matter of fact. "And _that _doesn't seem like a small matter to me."

Akihito was flabbergasted. He didn't know that Asami had noticed. He thought the older man was unaware of how he'd woken up in the middle of the night after a series of nightmares. He was shaken so badly that he couldn't stop the tear from falling. He'd made sure to stifle his sobs when that happened. He didn't want Asami to be aware of his uneasiness…not yet.

And now since Asami had seen that episode, there's no way in denying it. Something did happen to him. Akihito hung his head in defeat. He has to tell the truth, but it doesn't mean he has to tell about his condition. Maybe he could tell about his failed stakeout attempt instead. It did somehow leave a big impact in him after all. He needs just the right amount of truthfulness in his words to convince Asami not to pry any further.

"I just…" he trailed off uneasily. "I was shot at on my last stakeout. But its okay, nothing else happened. Though maybe I unconsciously worried about it since… the bullet did misses my head by an inch…" before he knew it, a tear spilled down his cheek. Maybe he was shaken by that incident after all. But his mind had been so occupied with the disease that he couldn't care less about that tiny incident where he _might_ die. Now, he really was going to die.

Within seconds, he was engulfed in an embrace. He could no longer hide the sorrow in his heart. He cried openly in Asami's arms. Successfully trapping the actual truth from his lover. The last thing he remembered before he closes his eyes was Asami's voice comforting him. Promising that he'll settle the incident for him. That everything was going to be fixed. Akihito could only smile bitterly at that. If only Asami know.

_It can't be fixed, Asami. Not this time…_

~A~A~A~

Two days later, Japan was shaken by the news of the imprisonment of a Diet member who was dealing with the leader of Yamakura Group (a small yakuza group in Tokyo prefecture) who had surprisingly enough found dead in his house. Paramedics had stated that he died by natural causes, most likely a heart-attack. Akihito's eyes twitch uncomfortably as he reads on. The news was so genuine that even he would fall victim to it… only if he didn't know what had actually happened. It's not a coincidence that the group's leader was the one Akihito had followed in his last stakeout. Even the timing was too perfect. Right after he had told Asami about the thugs…

Akihito shudders uncomfortably. He knew that Asami was behind it, one way or another. He was sure about it. What had convinced him even more was the fact that he found the newspaper strategically placed beside his bed, so that when he open his eyes, he will see the front page first before anything else. Asami didn't say a word about it. He had acted normally, as if what he had done was as simple as reciting the alphabet in order. Akihito was once again reminded that Asami was a dangerous man. Ironic enough, Akihito found comfort in the arms of this dangerous man. He couldn't help but smile at his predicament.

~A~A~A~

Akihito was thankful that his symptoms seem to have a way with him when Asami was nowhere near. Even he starts to wonder if this was all psychologically triggered. When Asami was around, he was as healthy as ever (thank god for that!). But once Asami turned his back on him, all hell broke loose. He would fall, tripped, roll over (well, not technically) and all kinds of things you can name of behind Asami's back. Once he did tripped over a rug and was saved from utter humiliation in front of Asami by grabbing the curtains near him. He whisked the uncertainty with his stupid grin which Asami returned by an amused smirk before a passionate "off to work" kiss.

Things seem to run smoothly with Asami, but Akihito was uncertain of his current condition. Lately, he had difficulties ditching Asami's goons. If before he could easily run through alleys, jumping over walls… now, he had to give all of his effort to do those stunts. His legs felt weak and numb all the time. His knees gave way at unpredictable moment that caused him quite a distress when he was out working on his assignments. He couldn't bend his legs to support him enough when he tried to take photographs from low angles. All in all, Akihito was becoming quite stressed. He was angry. Angry at himself. Angry at his disease. Angry at Miya-san for delivering him the dreadful news. Angry at the people around him who seems to be having a time of their life. He was basically angry at everything!

Sometimes Akihito caught himself thinking of stabbing his own damned legs which was a burden to him now. He tried to stray away from that suicidal thought. He knew that anger could lead him doing more harm than good. And since he had been upset and angry at himself, the thought keeps on haunting him. Outwardly, he was all cheery and happy. The same young man who was stubborn enough to ditch the goons to be free. The same cheerful smile. Holds the same passion for photography. But inwardly, he was suffering. Suffering so much that his heart squeezed in pain whenever Asami embraced him. He felt guilt weighing in his heart. Guilty for fooling the older man. Guilty for not sharing his misery when he knew that Asami cared enough for him.

He should let him know, he should. But every time he sees his lover's eyes, he became scared to utter those words. Scared enough that he bit his tongue not to let the words slip out of his mouth. His attempt would always lead him to fake a smile at the end, which made him even more depressed than he thought he could get. His mind was in turmoil, and all he could think about was…

_Asami. _He wanted the man to console him. To take his pain away. Make his mind at peace again. But then again, he was scared. Akihito wonders why he was scared of admitting it loudly. He came to a conclusion that he was merely scared of the future. All he could see now was a dark future ahead of him. There was no salvation and he was trapped in the darkness. Alone. Waiting for the angel of death to fetch his soul and end his long misery.

~A~A~A~

"Does it hurt to stand? I thought you've gotten used to it" Asami spoke after seeing Akihito fall in a lump right after he stood from the bed. Asami could only chuckle when Akihito growl loudly and gave him a deadly glare. The glare that sends pleasurable shiver down Asami's spine.

"Whose fault do you think it is?" Akihito snapped bitterly at his lover who was smoking elegantly on the bed with his oh so amused smirk. "You should take responsible for this. Carry me to the bathtub, if you please."

If Asami wasn't that surprise to see his lover falling in a lump after their passionate love making, he was now. It's not an everyday occurrence for Akihito to admit he needs help going to the bathroom. And not only that, he had asked to be _carried _by Asami. His cute kitten had too much pride to ask such things before. Is this a new way of seducing him? Or he's simply too much in pain to move on his own?

Asami settles his thought on the first when Akihito gifts him with a naughty smirk of his own. Asami didn't mind going for another round in the bathroom. Oh, he would love it in fact. The way his lover's screams vibrates through the walls was exquisite enough to make him come prematurely. Not like he can't hold on… but still, it was a promising thought indeed.

Sadly though, he had an important meeting in within fifteen minutes and he couldn't be late. His Akihito had just to wait… that is until the end of the meeting. He could send Suoh to pick up his kitten when it's over and fuck him senseless over his office's couch for daring to seduce him when he just didn't have enough time to relish his lover's body. Yes, he'll do just that. Asami took a last drag of his cigarette before stubbing it on the ashtray beside the bed.

He stalked towards Akihito with a mischievous smirk that made Akihito flinch uneasily. Carried Akihito in a bridal style, kissed him senselessly out of his breath before dumping Akihito in the bathtub.

"You'll pay dearly for arousing me. You know very well that I have to go in about ten minutes" Asami whispered huskily against Akihito's ears whilst caressing the jawlines of his lover. "But don't worry, I'll make sure you're satisfied enough when we're done." Akihito could only shiver in anticipation at that. Asami's finger lingers adoringly at Akihito's neck before he stood up and walks towards the shower. He took a quick shower and within seven minutes, he was gone. Leaving Akihito in the bathtub with promises of steamy hot sex.

What Asami didn't know was the fact that Akihito didn't even plan on seducing him at first. Akihito couldn't move even if he wanted to at the moment. If he stayed there without attempting to move like he had before he fall unceremoniously in front of Asami, the older man would certainly become suspicious. He didn't have any other choice but to ask for Asami's help without the older man noticing anything…different.

If Asami had taken a good look, Akihito didn't so much as flinch when he picked the younger man up. If Akihito was indeed in pain after their love making, it would hurt him to be picked up like that. But no, Akihito had different problems. If before he could at least feel the numbness in his legs… right now, it felt as if his legs were chopped off from his body! He couldn't feel his legs at all. He was paralyzed!

As much as Akihito wanted to panic, he bit down his sobs expertly while waiting patiently for Asami to move out of his line of sight. The moment the entrance door clicked close, Akihito couldn't hold onto his sobs anymore. He cried piteously while smacking his legs in rage. He could feel the pain he was causing to his legs, but he still couldn't move an inch. Akihito finally gave up when his legs started to turn red from the beating. He let his gaze lingers at the ceiling, trying to figure out what he should do now. As if by staring, he could solve his current problem. Now that he couldn't move a muscle.

_What the fuck should I do now? _Akihito screams silently.

**A/N:** On a funny note, there's this incident with my mum when I was writing this chapter. She suddenly comes into my room and reads from my back.

Mum: I think you meant "her".  
>Me: What? *seriously trying to understand what she meant*<br>Mum: Here... in this sentence *"Whose fault do you think it is?" Akihito snapped bitterly at _his_ lover who was smoking elegantly on the bed with his oh so amused smirk.*  
>Mum: I think you meant<em> her <em>honey *she said innocently*  
>Me: Oh.. right... urm... thanks mum *foolish grin*<p>

I'm sooo not writing a BL fic in front of her again. I think she could get a heart-attack. lmao XD


	4. Chapter 4: The Plan

**Title: **A secret to my grave

**Pairing: **Asami/Akihito

**Spoilers: **None… I guess?

**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's note: **Uh, hello? *nervous laugh* Yeah… kind of went MIA for a while now. Even this piece is a bit short, sorry for that. Well, I don't suppose I'll be posting again in long time (exams and all), but hey look at the bright side~ at least this will be completed in the year 20++ ish right? 8D Anyway, this chapter is a bit lighter I guess? So, hope you like it~ (Btw, my grammar still sucks. Hehe)

**Chapter 4: The Plan**

Akihito stayed quietly for god knows how long in the bathtub. He was no longer crying. His tears had dried up the moment he realized that nothing would change even if he cried tears of blood. And being the optimistic man (yes, he was no longer a boy at heart), with a never ending fighting spirit, he began devising a plan.

A plan to deceive his lover; the man who has a keen instinct and observational skills beyond that of an eagle. A double-edged sword plan that could certainly be his downfall the moment Asami breathes a word about it. Akihito knew that the older man would be beyond pissed if he could read what had crystalized in his boy's mind. Akihito knew, but he for once didn't care.

Asami had continuously spoiled him, saying that Akihito should be selfish for once and take what he had offered (and that didn't include the sex department. Akihito was definitely selfish during those times). And of course, Akihito had never relented… but that was all in the past. Now, he was ready to embrace that thought. As Asami had requested, he was being selfish for once. Selfishly keeping the truth and sinking it into a bottomless pit of interconnected lies.

Yes, this was a game they both had to play. Akihito's final game. He had never wanted to actually win these games before. He was rather relieved in a sense that Asami never failed his expectations by trapping him again and again. His pride elated whenever he thought of the golden eyed yakuza. Of how the man had somehow seen something of worthy in him. Of how that powerful man had acknowledged him in a way.

Definitely, Akihito was rather caught than being the trapper. But now, his circumstances are changing. He had to reform himself whether he like it or not. He was determined to be the mastermind of this game. He had to up his play if he wanted the devil to fall prey into his trap. He very well knew it wasn't an easy task to trap the devil but… it wasn't impossible.

~A~A~A~A~

Akihito tried to move his legs once more with his new resolve burned into his brain. He took a deep breath before he concentrates all his beings to his legs. Maybe it was a mistake for him to move it drastically starting from his knees. He should start from the very bottom, the toes.

It took him minutes to wiggle his toes before he starts to feel the numbness coming back to his legs. Slowly, Akihito massages the length of his right legs. He began to stretch his legs with the help of his hands. Beads of sweats were trailing down his back when Akihito finally manages to lift his legs successfully. After that, it took him less than a few minutes to have both of his legs coming back to life.

His heart thumped in happiness for a moment before he pushed the feeling aside. His efforts would be utterly pointless if he couldn't even stand up straight. Praying under his breath, Akihito clutched the edge of the bathtub and heaves himself up with all his might. His arms shaking uncontrollably, trying to support his weight before he slowly support it with his numb legs.

A single tear of joy trailed down his cheek when he finally stood up, unsupported by his arms. It was as if he was learning how to walk all over again. He knew from that moment onwards, he would never take advantage of his legs or any other part of his body lightly again. He was seeing the world in different eyes. New perspective in fact. No words can describe what was slowly building up in the young photographer's heart.

~A~A~A~A~

Unfortunately for Akihito, Suoh found him sprawled unceremoniously in the bathroom floor with only a towel warped around his waist to conceal whatever pride he had left. It seems that bad luck has taken a liking to Akihito. The moment he stepped out of the shower (for a quick wash), he slipped and fall hard on his butt. And seeing that he was just spared from their rigorous "activity" just about an hour ago, pain shot through his body and he screamed in reflex.

Akihito didn't know when and how Suoh got there, but the next thing he knew the blond haired goon practically dashes into the bathroom like a superman (minus the spandex) with his gun pointing straight in alert. There was a moment of awkward silence before Suoh holster his gun back with a poker face, carried Akihito to the bedroom, set him down on the sofa and asked him with unrelenting tone whether he had hurt himself.

Flabbergasted, Akihito could only stare at the blond haired guard sheepishly. What was he going to say? That his boss had practically overused him that even sitting was difficult for him? And what… admitting that he had just screamed girlishly because of it? No… he would rather die than admitting it to the goon. Especially this goon. He knew that Suoh would report every single detail about him to Asami.

Akihito could practically see the smirk on Asami's lips now. That amused, proud smirk. Damn the man. Even in this situation, he couldn't deny that the conjured image from his mind made his heart beat a little faster. Akhito could only curse silently for being weak willed when it comes to that devilish man.

His thoughts were cut short when he felt a hand on his left ankle. Suoh was weighting his ankle, as if to check for any injuries. Now that his attention was at his foot, Akihito does feel the throbbing pain pulsing from it, but then again, his ass hurts so much that the pain was much more bearable.

"Might have twisted it when I fell" Akihito interject half-heartedly.

With the help of the band-aid kit, Souh skillfully wrapped his ankle tightly in place. Akihito could no longer felt the throbbing sensation, but he knew he had to be careful for a while not to strain his leg. Now that he was handicapped in a way, he wonders what would happen now if his other leg would give away again?

"I don't suppose you need a crutch" Suoh's voice broke through his thought yet again.

'What? Does he think that this injury is big enough for a crutch? I'm not that weak!' Akihito eyed Suoh annoyed at the thought. He was about to give the blond haired dude his piece of mind when suddenly he realized that he could use this opportunity and turned it to his benefit.

'Guess, this wasn't such a bad luck after all…' Akihito thought.

A seemingly innocent smile snakes up Akihito's lips before he replied with an innocent tone. "Yes, I do. In fact, could you provide me two sets just in case?"

It was an unusual request for Suoh, but he didn't question it. It doesn't seem like the thing will harm the boy anyway. In fact, it saves him a lot of trouble from touching his boss's lover more than he was supposed to. He rather kept his hands to himself. But oh boy… was he wrong.

Akihito had successfully fooled him with that seemingly innocent request. He won this time around.

_The pawn advances towards the knight silently…_

"And Suoh?" Akihito called to the retreating back. "I don't suppose you'll tell Asami about this? Because if you ask me, it's kind of awkward to explain how we end up in this… situation" Akihito continued while gesturing to his half naked body.

Suoh stopped dead on his track and eyed Akihito with a death glare, but Akihito seems not to care at all.

"It won't hurt to keep this tiny detail from him" Akihito said simply.

Suoh could only scowl at that. It was a tempting offer. He knew his boss was a jealous man and the thought of not telling this piece of info was overwhelming him. How was he supposed to explain how he ended up in the bathroom again?

But then again, it felt wrong if he didn't. It felt as if he was having an illicit affair with the brat if he does agree. A cold shiver ran down his spine at the thought. He was without a doubt skillful at his work, but dammit. This TAA (stands for Takaba Akihito Abomination) always had him up against the wall… well, not technically.

He knew very well that his boss will have his balls for supper if he so much touches Takaba in a wrong sort of way. The image of him carrying Takaba into the bedroom crosses his mind. For fuck's sake, he should've not done that. He should've asked the brat to stand up and walk on his own. But no… his first instinct was to see whether the brat had hurt himself.

Suoh was in a tight situation and Akihito could clearly see it. Finally, after much thought Suoh replied "I'll tell him truthfully if he asks." Well, at least that comfort Akihito that Suoh won't be yapping about the incident, unless Asami asks him directly. Suoh retreated out of the penthouse with a troubled expression. Akihito could only smirk at that.

_The pawn ate the knight…It was a matter of time before the rook fallowed suit. _


	5. Chapter 5: The Gifts

**Title: **A secret to my grave

**Pairing: **Asami/Akihito

**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's Note: **Was supposed to write this down right after exam week. But I was flown to Korea right after that by my family and had spent almost my entire break there. As much as I love Korea, I still love my comfy bed more. So, here's the delayed chapter… sorry for the wait.

**Chapter 5: The Gifts **

Kirishima Kei knew the moment his boss stepped into Sion with a playful smirk plastered on his face that today (of all days) would be one of those "just shot em dead so I can play with my kitten sooner" days. These so called days would most definitely turn into a peaceful days if his boss got what he wanted sooner. But in an unlikely event (with the percentage of 0.01% of it ever occurring), Tokyo will be drenched in blood within minutes… due to the fact that his boss somehow develop a trigger happy habit in these so called days.

Kirishima could only sigh before giving a signal to Suoh to get ready in case of that 0.01% chance occurred. Thankfully for his mother hen nature, Kirshima was always prepared. He had stored a TEK (stands for Takaba Emergency Kit) to counter back in case a push comes to a shove.

As expected, the meeting prolonged longer than scheduled. Kirishima could practically smell the dark clouds slowly forming around his boss. But fortunately for them, the other party didn't seem to detect the slight changes his boss portrayed behind his cool composure. Kirishima decided that it was time to take the matter into his hands. He grabbed the kit and made his way towards Asami.

He whispered conspiratorially to Asami before opening the kit in an angle so that only he could see. When Asami's eyes changes into that of a predators, Kirishima knew they were spared to walk on this earth another day. Asami picked one of the items in the kit and send Kirishima away with a message that made him squirm in discomfort inwardly.

Kirishima couldn't fathom relaying the message to Suoh directly, so he decided to write it on a card and placed it into a small box along with the item Asami had picked from the kit before dispatching Suoh to meet the kid. He let out another heavy sigh. The boy would certainly be pissed… thank the god that he was not there to witness it.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

Turns out that Asami couldn't make it after all. He'd sent Suoh to relay the message to Akihito while promising that he'll be back around midnight (with a message written on a card that made him blush like never before and a little gift that sent him screaming profanities all ways to Sunday). Since he knew that the meeting was important enough for Asami to cancel their prior engagement, he decided to retaliate by doing a short GIF of him with the gift in a suggestive manner before sending it to the prick via email.

Though some part of Akihito was disappointed (he rather die than admitting it out loud), he was rather relieved by the news. Now that the bastard was nowhere near his behind, Akihito could finally have a peace of mind. It's not like he can't think when his lover was around. It's just that the sex god kept on steering his mind towards other sensual stuffs when he had other pressing matters to attend to. Like in his recent case: How to appear sane or well enough towards people around you when you're dying every second of the day.

Well… now that he has the whole day to himself, maybe he should meet up with Miya-san. When Miya-san told him that it was best to have someone to support him in this difficult time, Akihito had denied almost immediately that he was big enough to take care of himself without a guardian. As much as Akihito knew she didn't agree with him on that matter, Miya-san accepted his decision with a heavy sigh.

"_If it's too much for you to handle alone, you're always welcome here_" Miya-san had generously offered from his last visit. He stared intently at the small card in his hand before pushing the buttons on his mobile phone. It took all his will to press the call button.

"I need your help…"

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

A sudden mewl of a cat's interrupted their once heated discussion. The meeting room went silent for a while before realizing the direction of the sound came from the head of the table. No one dared to stare openly. Someone cleared their throat before proceeding with their discussion when the man himself signals them to continue without even so much as a flinch.

Asami stared down at his beeping phone, immediately knowing that there was a new incoming email from his kitten. He knew sooner or later that his kitten would be sending hate emails from the gift he received. As much as he loves marveling over his kitten's body, riling up the boy's emotion was a pleasure in itself.

He had expected a string of profanities, but he wasn't prepared to see what his kitten had actually bestowed for him. The boy had attached moving image of his tongue licking the giant pocky shaped dildo that was covered in cream… so suggestively… so seductively… and oh so erotically that Asami's cock hardens immediately at the sight. He groans under his breath, lighting his cigarette and inhale the cancer stick deep enough to calm his nerves.

_So the kitten had learned to bare his claws…_Asami's eyes glint dangerously. A simple punishment won't suffice now. Oh no… he was going to enjoy punishing his devious kitten when he got back.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

The kitten was seriously testing his patience. Asami was greeted by a sight of his kitten flopped on his stomach in the living room couch, wearing only boxers and sleeveless tee that hug him like second skin. The boy was sucking intently on what seems to be a lollipop while flipping the magazine lazily. His ears were tucked with earphones that were blazing with rock music. From the way the boy was presented, it was clear that Akihito didn't expect him to arrive this early (especially since he was enjoying the taste of a lollipop… Asami knew his kitten hates to be treated like a kid). It was barely half past eight after all.

Asami stride silently towards his prey while loosening his tie and discarding his coat expertly. Well, after the stunt his kitten had made that afternoon, he wasn't going to slide it off just so easily. He had made sure that everything would be settled before midnight. And he had managed to do it so professionally that the other party was left satisfied with his decisions.

The boy was still oblivious to his surroundings as Asami stalked predatoriously from behind. Asami couldn't help but notice the bandaged foot and what's this… a dog magazine? His kitten flipped through pages uninterestedly but stopped and stare intently on a page about a dog institute where dog owners could send their dogs for training or adopt dogs that are trained by professionals.

That earned his interest. Why would his kitten be interested in such things? Unless the boy is thinking of owning a trained dog. Whatever the case was, he will surely get to the bottom of it when the boy is moaning and writhing under him. He needed to satisfy his carnal desire that had been put on a halt since that afternoon.

He slipped off his silk tie and covered it around Akihito's eyes in a fluid movement. That earned him a surprised yelp that sends pleasurable shivers down his spine. He plucked out the earphones before whispering hotly against his lover's ear.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

"Naughty…"a hot breath tickles Akihtio's ears before a tongue dove inside the cavern "…kitten…" hands tracing his bandaged foot with butterfly touches before slipping it along his leg to his thigh. Akihito couldn't help but shudder in anticipation at the ministration.

"…you've been waiting for this, haven't you?" Akihito let out a sharp yelp as Asami slapped his ass none too gently before continuing to play with his harden cock through his briefs. His sensitive body was relenting to the touch that was intensified from him being blindfolded.

"Unfortunately for you, my sweet kitten… do you know what you've done?" molten velvet voice hypnotized his already murky mind. Akihito could only shake his head in coherent reply when Asami's hand stopped abruptly in the mid stroke through his already wet briefs. He wanted those pair hands to never stop sending pleasurable signals that tore his body.

"You've riled up the wrong man" Asami's tone was dangerously… sensual? Akihito couldn't make up his mind whether he was afraid or craving for the man's touch. All he knew in his muddy mind was that he wanted release as soon as possible. But he knew deep down that Asami had planned to prolong his suffering. He was to blame for teasing his older lover with those erotic pictures. He knew, but he couldn't help himself.

'Well…' he thought between pant and moans 'two can definitely play this game.' Unbeknownst to Asami, he was playing a totally different game.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

Akihito woke up with a moan and a terrible headache. True to his words, Asami had bend his body in every possible situation mankind could think of. Thank god his body was somewhat flexible enough to handle Asami's rough attention on his body. God…why haven't that man won a golden award entitled "Sex God" yet? He surely deserves it after last night…

Urgh… His head was killing him. Akihito flopped himself on the soft pillows while his eyes eagerly tried to estimate the time. It must've been pretty late since Asami was no longer there. He must've been too much out of it if he didn't notice Asami leaving. Akihito marveled back to their conversation (between their second and third round of sex) last night.

"_Are you interested in owning a dog?" Asami had asked as he brushed Akihito's bangs tenderly out of his eyes. "I've never noticed." _

"_Oh that…" Akihito trailed off. "Took a walk today and I saw this blind man with his dog walking down the street… and I thought it was kind of cool. Since well, the dog was more than a way for him to navigate around, it was a friend too. I figured that it'll be nice to have dogs around instead of goons guarding me… uh well… just saying." That had earned him a chuckle from Asami before the bastard thrust all the way home. _

Akihito was about to drift back to sleep when he heard a bark. He blinked the sleepiness out of his eyes before he stood up, covered himself and walk towards the sound. There in the living room, stood two dogs elegantly. Akihito didn't know a lot of dog breeds, but who doesn't know about German Shepard dogs? Akihito could only gape idiotically at the sight.

"You must be Takaba-sama" a voice spoke up, almost spooking Akihito out. "I'm Eita Makina" they shake hands. "This is Hope and Faith" she gestured to two dogs.

"Are these your dogs?" Akihito asked while he went closer to ruffle Hope's ear.

"Not technically, I'm their trainer for almost 3 years now. Now they're your dog Takaba-sama" Eita-san said with a smile.

It didn't really surprise him. Somehow Akihito knew that Asami would do such a thing for him. He was a bit taken back that his wish had been granted in such a short notice. His heart squeezed in pain. He had used Asami… he had used him. The back of his eyes stings so badly that he tried not to blink to avoid the tears from falling down his cheeks.

_This is just too cruel_ his heart screams in pain. His mind flashed back to the meeting with Miya-san yesterday.

"_How did that happened?" Miya-san asked worriedly as Akihito strolled into the café with his clutch. Akihito had asked Suoh to wait in front of café's entrance since according to him; he was just meeting up with an old friend. Not like he can run in his condition anyway. Thankfully, Suoh agrees. _

"_Nah… it's nothing serious" Akihito laughs it off and took a seat before ordering strawberry sundae for himself. They were meeting in a small café a few blocks away from Miya-san's clinic. Akihito was insistent on meeting with her outside of the clinic and she agreed to meet up with him during lunch time. _

"_You should take better care of yourself" Miya-san said with a frown. _

"_That's why I need your help. My legs are getting weaker, Miya-san" Akihito said almost in a whisper. "I know that sooner or later, I've to use the wheelchair if it gets worse…" he trailed off with a heavy heart. Miya-san could only watch the young man in sympathy. Why did it have to be this young man? _

"_So… is there anyway other way I can move around with a slight help? I can use the crutch now… but if my arms deem to weaken…" _

"_You need a guardian, Takaba-san" Miya-san said worriedly. _

"_That's out of the question" Akihito snapped and Miya-san flinched uncomfortably. Akihito took a deep breath before continuing "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… it's just…it's not easy to break the news. And I… don't want anything to change. No… not right now…" _

"_If that's the case…" Miya-san sigh. She didn't know what else to say but give the best help for the young man. "How about dogs?" _

"_Excuse me?" Akihito asked confusedly. _

"_Trained dogs. Like the ones that help navigating the blind. They could provide a little help when you need something and you aren't able to walk that far. They could do the job for you. And good trained dogs can alert people when you're actually in dire need. They could also guard you when you walk about outside. Well…I can foresee that it'll be difficult to guard yourself nowadays…"_

"_But then again… trained dogs are worth a fortune" Miya-san's voice trailed off. Thinking that it wasn't such a good idea after all. But a plan formed in Akihito's mind. He thanked Miya-san and went straight and pick up a dog magazine on his way home. _

_He knew the plan had to be precise, as not to look too awkward or obvious… just enough to bait the King. The man was like a hound dog. Once he picked up a scent, he would never let go until he gets to the bottom of it. And Akihito had used that to earn him this victory. As much as Asami knows his habits, he too picks up the older man's habits throughout the time they spend together. Yes, the kitten had learned to bare his claws. And he had learned from the best. _

_He positioned himself strategically in the living room with the magazine. Throw in a few sensual gestures and waited… the bait was caught and he played along innocently. _

Akihito couldn't suppress his tears any longer. He settled his head on top of Hope's furry head as tears trailed down his cheeks. Begging forgiveness to Asami silently and swearing to take care of these two beautiful creatures. Asami had single handedly jumped into his trap. It was a matter of how long Asami would remain there.

_The King was trapped. Pawn promoted to Queen. _

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

On a funny side… I went and embarrassed myself yet again. It was a total humiliation! I was in my Korean class with my friends when we got back our quiz paper. I realized that I mostly made such stupid mistakes like writing "I" instead of "A" (in hangul)... so I end up saying…

Me: My hand is a fucker (in literal meaning, why does my hand always fucks up my marks?)

And there was silence; one of my friends was eyeing me in disbelief before bursting out laughing like there was no tomorrow. I only picked up what they thought by the end of the class when a guy behind my row smirk at me. Gosh… arghhh /


	6. Chapter 6: The Letter

**Title: **A secret to my grave

**Pairing: **Asami/Akihito

**Spoilers: **None… I guess?

**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's Note:**Wow, how many months since I last updated this one? *nervous laugh* Sorry about that. Anyway, I know this story is moving slowly but I wanted to get every emotion through. So the actions will be delayed to let this happens. And I guess it'll be a long ride? Anyway, enjoy~

**Chapter 6: The Letter **

Akihito had always been a dog's lover, but the thought of adopting one as a pet never crossed his mind. Now he was starting to wonder why. Maybe he had subconsciously known he couldn't provide what was necessary for the dog. He himself had barely survived by eating instant ramen almost on daily basis when work proves to be a bitch at times. Though he loved his job more than anything else, being a photojournalist is not the best job scope in the world. He had enough scars to prove what hell he had been through, especially after meeting Asami.

Akihito had never really mind the visible scars. These types of scars can heal on its own. What really bother him were the mental ones. Try as he might, Akihito could never deny that those scars ran deep into his being. Poisoning his veins and haunted him in his wake. Tormented him enough that even the sight of a gun after the Hong Kong incident could trigger something in him. Though he never notices it himself, Asami did.

The fact that Akihito rarely sees a gun in Asami's penthouse shows that the older man had indeed read his mind. As if that wasn't enough, Asami had even taken the time to unfasten the holster before he stepped into the vicinity. Akihito had only realizes this small change when he saw Kirishima handing it to Asami before he stepped into the limo. The thought of Asami seeing him as a weakling angered him at first, but it dulled almost immediately when he realized the older man cared enough to take those precautions for his sake. Now, he wasn't really bothered by the slick black metal.

Indeed, even those scars could be mended over time. But these types of scars could never really heal. It nestled deeply into his mind, bringing flashback of those hopeless times to the light of day. His own memory was becoming a traitor to his already tattered mind. The mind he was hopelessly trying to keep from breaking the moment he was sentenced to death.

His eyes travelled towards the two dogs he now owned. Those molten golden eyes that looked deeply into his soul knew exactly what he was suffering alone. He guessed that their instinct and keen training had sharpened their senses towards people's feeling and behavior. Faith gently licked his cheek, as if trying to comfort him. Akihito couldn't help but smile at that.

_Yes_ he thought. _They would be a great companion._

~A~A~A~

It has only been four days since the dogs arrived, but Akihito was already attached to them. Asami knew that his boy was pleased with the dogs since his eyes would twinkle with excitement whenever he talked about their silly antics on the day. It was as if hearing a mother talking fondly of her child. Asami smirks at the thought. He was never fond of children, but the image of his boy with a child on his arm warmed his cold heart. Though he would never speak of it, for he knew the consequences of taking a child under his care, if his boy ever proposed the idea he will seriously consider it.

But it will be years before that would ever occur. Assuming that Akihito was still too stubborn to openly admit his feelings. And Asami mentally denying that what they had was the real deal. He knew he was addicted to the boy, to his sweet taste. The boy was like sweet nectar that left him begging for more. His thirst for the boy could not be quenched by others. He could never again find pleasurable release with other lithe body.

Yes he knew, the boy was special. But he would never say the four letters, he would never admit it. For he would have to bare his heart raw if he utter that word. He was not born to show affection like normal people would. He lived in a cold cruel world where the slightest emotion would be the death of him. For both of them. His world would crumble to his feet the moment those words are spoken. And for that, he had resolved his heart to only spoke of the word as a parting gift. A gift when either one of them close their eyes for the last time.

His heart squeezed in pain at the thought. He hoped that he would be spared of the suffering. For once he wished he was the one giving the final goodbye rather than receiving.

~A~A~A~

Akihito and Eita-san were at the park with the dogs when Akihito suddenly asked about the name. Ironically for him, he'd been slowly losing both "faith" and "hope" these past days. It was like a miracle had bestowed when the dogs were given to him. Now he can literally hug it on nights when he felt like screaming his worries out.

"Most of our dogs are trained to help those in need; we'd hope that they could give enough strength to their owner. Especially since they're much more of a friend than a tool to these people. We believe that they could help ease the pain somehow. To give enough hope so that they would believe in life again" Eita-san answered with a painful look.

"Truth is, the dogs suffered along with the owner. They are a keen being, much more understanding and sensitive to slight changes of behavior. It's like they created a bond with the people that own them" Eita-san lifted her eyes to look into Akihito's when she finally smiled.

"I guess both Faith and Hope are lucky to have you. For one, you're healthy… and I can see they like you as much as you like them. And that's all that matters" she smiled cheerfully at Akihito. Knowing full well that the dogs were in good hands. As much as she'll miss them, her job was done.

Unbeknownst to Eita-san, Akihito was battling with his guilt. He was far from healthy, but at least he knew he'd come to love the beautiful dogs. And love them he would. It was a gift from someone special for Akihito and for that, he would never neglect the dogs until his last breath.

Akihito knew deep down, the dogs would help him greatly on daily basis. They would be inseparable companion until the last second ticks away.

~A~A~A~

"Aki!" Kou practically fling himself on Akihito when the young photographer greeted him at his front door.

"Where have you been? I was worried sick! I was about to…" Kou trailed off before bombarding Akihito with squeals and wonder when he saw the two dogs sitting adorably at Akihito's feet.

"You have dogs now?! Did you adopt them? Wow… this is amazing" he continued on, showing no signs of inviting Akihito into his room. Akihito could only chuckle at that. Kou never changed.

"Can I come in yet?" teasingly, Akihito asked before ushering himself inside.

"Oh yeah, come on in. Sorry about the mess. I'm cleaning some stuffs" Kou trailed off before continuing when he saw Akihito's disbelief frown "It's my new girlfriend man… she always bitches about this place. Well I guess it's about time I clean some stuffs anyway."

"Wait, what? You got yourself a girlfriend now?" Akihito said with a cheeky grin before slapping his friend's back hardly.

"That's harsh, dude. It's not like I can't get one… I was just unlucky, most of the time" Kou sulks openly. Yeah, it was not his fault but rather, Akihito's! For some reason, girls swoon over guys that looked like sunshine and straight out model from magazines. Not like Akihito had noticed and that had made Kou wonder why. The fact that he can't get laid if he hang out with his friend was plain obvious that it hurts his pride sometimes. But seeing that Akihito was one of his best pals, he could never hate the guy.

"You got it wrong, Kou. I'm happy to know that. Congrats for finally popping the cherry!" Akihito said jokingly and laughs loudly at Kou's shocked expression. His mouth was practically open like a fly trap.

"Hey! My cheery was popped way before yours!" Kou huffed loudly before his jaws went slack from the realization. _Oh shit!_ Kou cursed inwardly as Akihito frowned deeply.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked suspiciously. Eyeing Kou with his murderous glare that made the other squirm pathetically.

"I might've accidentally saw something" Kou said while looking anywhere but his friend. But when it doesn't serve its purpose, he finally relented. "Okay…okay… I saw it! I forgot something so I went back to class and saw…" he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "But hey… it wasn't entirely my fault, you should've found somewhere discrete. And for crying out loud, it was my desk!"

Both young men blush scarlet red at that. Kou cleared his throat again while Akihito wished the floor would eat him whole right this moment.

"Anyway… you've come at the right time" Kou continued, trying his hardest to whisk the awkward air around them. "Look what I found" he grinned before handing Akihito a worn out envelope. At first Akihito couldn't fathom what was so special about the envelope, but his smile grew when he looked at the contents.

There was a picture of him, Kou and Takato about twelve years old each with a small shovel. A goofy grin plastered on their faces as they posed with a victory sign under a big Sakura tree. There was a crumpled paper with scribbles of the location of the picture.

"It has been thirteen years…" Akihito said, amazed at the discovery.

"Wanna dig it out?" Kou proposed before Akihito nodded in agreement, fully excited to dig out their time capsule.

~A~A~A~

It took them awhile to dig the capsule since the soil had hardened for the last thirteen years. The dogs were useful as they help reducing the man power, especially on Akihito's side. His hands were practically jello and weak. Thankfully, Kou didn't seem to notice.

A "thunk" was heard before a box was seen burred deep into the soil. Kou used his hands to clear the dirt on top of the box before he tugs it out. Inside, there were three small boxes each with their names scribbled on top of the lid.

"We found it!" Akihito said excitedly to the speaker of his phone.

"Great! What's in mine?" Takoto's excited voice was heard from the device. He was away with his wife to celebrate their 3rd wedding anniversary. He was miles away and couldn't to be there with them. Both Akihito and Kou thought it was unfair to dig their time capsule without Takato's present. So they resolved it by an online conference.

"The usual junk" Kou said while chuckling. "Hey, there's even a love letter from Rika-chan in class A! I can't believe you put this in there!" they laughed aloud.

"Save that for yourself Kou" Akihoto said with a wide cheeky grin while showing them what seemed to be a tooth.

"Hey, don't rummage my stuff without permission. Besides, it's my lucky tooth!" Kou defended, trying hard not to laugh at his own stupidity.

"What's in yours Aki?" Takato asked while Akihito opened his box. Inside, there was a single Polaroid photo, a key, a list he scribbled on paper and a letter which was unopened addressed to him.

He remembered the photo; it was one of the very first pictures he'd taken of his grandmother. Looking at the photo brings tears to his eyes, he'd truly missed her. He looked at the paper and he knew it was a list of things he'd supposedly achieved up until he was fifty years old. But the letter, he'd totally forgotten about it.

It was a letter from his grandmother for his older self. He'd remembered about the promise he made to dig back the time capsule so that he could finally read it. If it wasn't for Kou, he would've completely forgotten about it. Carefully, he slid open the letter and read it aloud.

_My Dearest Akihito, _

_Assuming that you followed my instruction, I believe you're now in mid-twenties or thirties. I'm sorry for not being there to celebrate all your birthdays. For not being able to see your coming of age ceremony is my biggest regret. If my instinct proves me right, your dad must've had a rough time bringing you up in your teens. You're a rebellious child, weren't you? That's my boy. _

_I wonder if you have a family of your own now? A loved one perhaps? A few children of your own? How I wish I could meet the person who'd gained your heart. Whatever the case is, I'm proud of you. In every decision you made, I know you followed your heart through and through. You're just like your Grandpa. If you ever have any regrets, don't swell on it. Let the past be in the past. Don't let it drag you down. Even if something may hinder your path towards the future, don't let it stop you. Having the tiniest sense of regret left a bitter taste for years to come. _

_Take this advice from an old woman, who'd live her life stuck in the past. For not being able to see what was in front of her until it was too late. For years, I'd missed him. I dwelled in the past but you were there to brighten my days. And for that Akihito, I leave this piece of reminder to help find your way back when you're stuck with nowhere to go. _

_Live your life to the fullest. Don't ever regret your decisions. Don't let your fears consume you and live a day as if it was your last. Appreciate every little thing in life because by the end of the day, those simple things would bring a smile to your face. Remember Akihito, it's not death that chases us... it is time. Use your time wisely and create fond memories that'll help you when the time comes. Spend it with your loved ones and friends. You'll need them the most. As I needed you to live through all those painful years without him. _

_With Greatest Love, _

_Ritsuka._

~A~A~A~

"Her words always bring tears to my eyes" Kou sniffled loudly while Akihito wiped his tears away. Her words had struck closer to his heart than he'd expected. She'd always have a great instinct, but to sniff out his predicament from years back? Now, that's purely godsend!

"What's that key for, Aki?" Takato interrupted. "Is it yours?"

"Even if it's mine, I don't remember what it is for" Akihito replied while eyeing the key closely.

"It looks like a key to a lock… or a safe" Kou observed. "Where did you get it?"

"Like I said, I don't remember. But I guess it was important enough since I kept it in the capsule. Why the heck didn't I write it down?!" Akihito groaned at his former self.

"Hey, remember that jewelry box your grandma gave you?" Takato continued on. "Maybe the key is for that?"

"It's not a jewelry box, Takato" Akihito said annoyed. "It's…"

"The Wishing Box" Kou and Takato said in unison while chuckling.

"Yeah, we know what you called it, but it's still a jewelry box in my opinion" Takato commented with a smirk evident in his voice, while Kou snickered to himself.

"It's in my parent's house" Akihito remarked while ignoring his stupid friends.

"Well then, why don't you visit your parents for a change? It has been awhile since you went back" Takato state the obvious.

Indeed, it has been awhile. But the fact of meeting his parents in his current condition scared the shit out of him. His father had an eye for detail while his mother could sense something is amiss from miles away. He couldn't simply waltz into his parents' home without at least one of them raising the red flag. If Asami was like a keen eagle, his parents were bloodhounds. The thirsty kind. The kind which will bite until he spilled all the beans. He couldn't even lie through his teeth if that happens. If he so decided to return to his hometown, it was the time when he would be prepared to let all hell breaks loose. He'll be attacked by all directions.

His parents will be hysterics. Takato and Kou would definitely cry their eyes out… and Asami. He shuddered. He couldn't imagine what Asami would do if he finds out. The older man was calm as a lake one moment, but roared like a tsunami the next. No, it'll be too complicated and stressful to handle those now. He needed more time… he needed…

_Remember Akihito, it's not death that chases us... it is time._

Akihito went pale at the realization. His time was running out… and he couldn't stop it even if he traded his precious camera to gain back the time he'd lost. He was trapped between walls, with nowhere else to escape.

_Don't ever regret your decisions. Don't let your fears consume you and live a day as if it was your last._

The words rang through his conscious mind. Yes, there's no time regretting and looking back. He would make time for them. For all of them before he finally succumbed to his reality. He would use his time well enough to create a solid illusion. A final dream for the people he'd cherished all these years. He will use his remaining time to be their lullaby, to lull their senses and promising that the good dream will never end.

He knew his lullaby was not meant to be sung forever, but he will make sure it'll echo long enough to accompany the ones he left behind.

~A~A~A~

Oh and yes, I twist a bit about Aki's grandparents. From the canon, I know they're well and healthy… sorry about killing them off. *sweat*

Another note, I might be going to Hong Kong this September. Which is fun and all (wonder if I can meet someone like Feilong? *grins*). But I'm still a bit clueless to the attractions in HK. Any recommendation? :D


	7. Omake: How the wishing box

**Title:** How the wishing box came to be (A secret to my grave universe)

**Author:** creamymint

**Summary:** Ritsuka and her brilliant mind

**Word Count: **883

**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's Note:**It has been ages since the last chapter, truly sorry for that since I've been stuck with a lot of assignments since it's almost internship year for me. Then again, this is just a short omake (between chapter 6 & 7) , a glimpse to Akihito's past. I'm a bit rusty since I haven't wrote anything in a while, so beware! Enjoy~

**Short Omake: How the wishing box came to be**

Thunder rumble though the grey skies as droplets of rain fall like teardrops hitting the small body that lay sprawled on the lawn. Though his clothes were beginning to dampen from the rain, the small boy didn't seem to be bothered by it; instead he stretch out his arms to the sky as if trying to grasps the liquid with his tiny hands. He was enchanted by the works of nature around him. If only he could draw well enough to preserve the moment…

His musing was halted when a clear voice called out his name in exasperation. He looked up with sheepish smile when he saw who it was. He knew he was in trouble yet again.

"Akihito!" his grandmother shouted, displeased with his behavior. "Get out of the rain and come here this instant!" she demanded while pointing her finger at the spot right next to her at the porch.

Knowing too well how it was going to go if he refused, Akihito stood up without a second thought and grudgingly drag his feet towards her. He was immediately covered by a soft towel while his grandmother continues to dry his wet hair. Akihito stared mindlessly at the floor, finding interest in his shoe laces rather than his grandmother's rambling when he was snapped out of his thought as her hand leads him onto a chair. She crouched in front of him, almost on the same eye level as he was. Eyes narrowing slightly, she tilted Akihito's chin and look straight into those bright hazel eyes.

"What's wrong, Akihito? You've been acting strange since you came back from school. Did something happen? Did you get in trouble with bullies again?" Ritsuka rapidly asked, getting more and more unsettled as her mind conjures up unlikely things. She was worried for her grandson; he'd almost give her a heart attack when the school called her almost a month ago. Her mind had thought the worst of the incident as she rushed to the school, thinking to come face to face with a boy beaten black and blue. She did meet with a beaten up boy that was sniffling almost comically beside the principle… but it was not her grandson.

From the looks of it, Ritsuka have to say it was pretty bad and she felt sorry for the beaten up boy. She was preparing to teach her grandson a lesson about kicking people's butt as a big NO NO in their rule book, but she felt a slight relief when she knew the truth. As cliché as it may sound, turns out her grandson were a Good Samaritan after all for he'd saved an innocent child from getting bullied endlessly by the said boy in front of her that moment. As much as she was proud of her grandson for having such a good heart, she knew what future holds for his parents. Oh they sure will have their hands full when he hits the rebellious age!

Shoulders slumped, Akihito shrugs in reply. He didn't want to confide in his grandmother since he knew how stupid it may sound to her. But still, it was bothering him. So much so that he was beginning to hate attending art classes. His eyes wonder towards his sketchbook that lay sprawled on the floor, feeling bitter at the sight of it.

"It's just that…" he begins, unsure how to say it in words. "My drawings look stupid and I can't get anything right!" he ended in one breath.

Getting caught off guard with the topic, Ritsuka could only blink at that. So it wasn't as dire of a problem as she thought it would be. Picking up the sketchbook, she flipped through the pages thinking to herself that the drawings are not that bad, considering Akihito's age. Especially the drawing of a dog in front of a big mansion. She was about to praise Akihito with that drawing when he interrupted her.

"Takato said that it looks like a dog in front of a house… but it's a horse in front of the stable!" Akihito added, almost whining in return.

Thankfully, Ritsuka managed to catch her tongue before the words slipped out of her mouth. Akihito would be truly depressed if he knows that she had agreed with Takato, but she couldn't help herself as a smile crept up her lips and she laughs openly.

"Oh Aki, it's truly not your fault. It's in the blood!" she said with a twinkle in her eyes, a plan forming in her mind. Akihito was puzzled; he couldn't understand what his grandmother had meant by that. Instructing Akihito to stay put, Ritsuka climb the stairs to fetch the said object that would lift up her grandson's spirit. The problem now lies on whether Akihito would believe her. She could only hope that her boy still held some of the innocent faith for words like… magic?

Well she wouldn't know unless she tried. If it works, it would save her a lot of trouble. If it doesn't well… there are some of her drawings back in the days stashed in the back of her wardrobe somewhere.


	8. Chapter 7: The Homecoming

**Title:** A secret to my grave

**Author:** creamymint

**Summary:** "Why didn't you tell me, Akihito? Why?" Asami snarl dangerously, hovering over Akihito. "Even if I told you, you can't fix this Asami. Not this time."

**Word Count:** 2773

**Disclaimer:** All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's Note:** It has been too long since I last updated any of my stories. Truthfully, after this chapter I don't know when I'll be updating again. Since I'm in my final year, I have a lot of things to prioritize. Writing thesis alongside this would not be such a good idea. I'll be majorly depressed if I did that, so a shout out to all my readers: I will be seriously busy until next year in June. Cheer me on so that I won't die a horrible death before graduation (and completing this piece). Thanks for all the favs and support! I read all the reviews, but I'm sorry if I didn't managed to reply!  
><em><br>_Ps: I thought about adding the details in the omake "How the wishing box came to be" in this chap, but I figure I'll be relating that story in chap 8 or 9 :)

"_I became selfish… I became vain. I'd wished he wasn't such a selfless man…that he would disregard everything else but himself. I wished for it so much so… that I began to forget why I'd loved him in the first place. That one thing I'd always love was that one thing that took him away from me… forever." _

**Chapter 7: The Homecoming **

The pitter patter of the rain hitting his umbrella was the first sign of the oncoming storm that would hit Kanagawa any moment from now. Akihito quickens his steps, unwilling to be trapped against a war between nature. Deep down, he was glad that Hope and Faith were safely tucked in the confines of Asami's penthouse. The poor things would be drenched to bone in this kind of unforgiving weather. Though he knew the dire consequences if his symptoms were to take a toll on his body without the dogs, Akihito felt confident with himself. For the first time since he was diagnose, Akihito felt he was truly himself again. Not like he was trapped in a forsaken body. A body that seems to weaken every second that ticks by.

Somehow he felt… refreshed. He had been drowning himself in self pity that he didn't realized he was disconnecting himself from the outside world. He never knew he was drowning in his own body, not until his grandmother snapped him out of self loathing. His dead grandmother. Even in death, Akihito was always in those protective arms of the older woman.

Akihito let out a relived sigh when he saw the familiar structure. He made a quick dash those last couple of meters before he was standing directly in front of his house. Well technically, it was his parent's house. He was barely there during his teenage years, and he rarely visited his parents when he finally reached the legal age to do whatever he deems fit. Though he knew he was not the greatest child for a parent to have, but at least he made effort to call his parents every now and then. Both to catch up and share his most often than not silly stories of his adventure as a criminal photographer.

Now that he was standing there, peering into the small garden that leads to the front door… Akihito was hit with an overwhelming sense of guilt. He knew how much his mother had missed him through those late night phone calls. How she would always reminded him to come and visit them sometimes when he has the time. Of how she sometimes jokes about moving in with him, just so that he could have a decent meal again.

Akihito knew, but he was too focused on trying to make a name in the photography world that his mother's concerns were pushed to the back of his mind. His longest dream since childhood days was to make his parents proud of having a reliable son. He had always dreamt of his homecoming to be a scenario where they were celebrating his achievement together. Laughing merrily around the kitchen table while flipping his portfolio. In his mind, these scenarios would always change but they always ended with happily ever after.

But now that he was here, pacing so uncharacteristically in front of the gate, Akihito finally realized how childish that dream had been. Rather than bearing good news, he was bearing something that is much darker and evidentially painful for them. Akihito now regrets how he did not take up his mother's offer. How he should have at least visited them when he was healthy as a horse. To somehow convey that even with his poor salary, he was always fit and most definitely happy with his choices in life. Deep inside, Akihito knew that they should have that privilege as a parent of a child that seems to be searching for trouble everywhere he goes.

Akihito knew how his parents would breakdown when they finally realized his condition. He knew he was cruel to finally come back home only to shatter their heart. What kind of parents won't succumb to misery when they are about to lose their only flesh and blood? Oh, he was cruel indeed.

Akihito knew… he knew… but yet, there's no turning back. He won't dwell on the pass. He won't regret any of his choices because his time was running out. Even if it is painful for them right now, he wanted to spend the rest of his days trying to make up for all those days they lost.

Eyes shining with determination, Akihito took a deep breath, walked up the steps, folded his umbrella and knocked on the door.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~

His body shook as he sat tiredly on the park's bench. It was still wet from the rain, but Akihito was far too gone to care. Unbidden tears fall freely down his face as he recalled the snippets of the conversation with his parents. It had taken all his might to break the news, trying to show a brave front when in fact the sight of his mother's tears almost crippled his heart.

_Thunder roared through the sky as the Takabas sat around the kitchen table, each with their preferred hot drink. Akihito wrapped his fingers around his mug as his mother, Takaba Sayaka, chatters on happily about his homecoming. _

_"You're just in time Aki!" his mother said enthusiastically before placing down a cake filled with strawberry toppings on the table. "I prepared it this morning... I just knew that something was going to happen today. Mother's instinct I take it." _

_"Your mom and her instincts" Akihito's dad, Takaba Shigeru, snorted while shaking his head slowly. "If it deems to be true, we would've been rich ages ago!" his dad added teasingly, recalling an event that happened way before Akihito could even walk. _

_"You're one to talk! Who in the right mind would trade a car for one lottery paper?" Sayaka shot back with a deadly glare. _

_"It's not just a paper, it's the platinum grade lottery!" Shigeru groans, he did not understand why his wife was still hung up with a dumb mistake he had done during his youth. Heck, that was when they were still in the dating period! "You wouldn't understand the value of it even if I tell you" he added after a thought._

_"Are you saying I'm stupid now?" Sayaka gasped devastatingly. "Aki, look at him! I don't understand why I still keep up with his nonsense after all these years!" _

_Akihito could only chuckle good-naturedly at his parents' antics. No matter how much they banter and provoke each other, Akihito knew that is the foundation of their love. His dad was always the type "to do first, think later", so it was not Sayaka's fault if she erupts every now and then. It was for a reasonable cause and most probably caused by another one of his dad's failed attempt at getting quick money._

_"Finally" his mother's voice cuts Akihito's train of thought. Akihito looked up from his mug and saw a pair of concerned eyes slowly evaluating him. _

_"What?" Akihito asked innocently, trying his hardest to hide his panic from recurring. His heart was not ready to deliver the news just yet. _

_"Don't what me" Sayaka snapped. "Aki, I saw you in front of the gate even before you knocked on the door. That face you were making, it seems as if you were dealing with something and you don't know what to do" she added gently while placing her palm on top of Akihito's hand. Trying to soothe his nerve. _

_"How did you... I mean, from just that?" _

_"I may not be the perfect mom, but even I can tell the difference if her child is acting so differently" Sayaka replied with a sad smile. "Even your thick headed father said you looked like you've impregnated someone and you don't know what you're going to say to us."_

_"That's not the case, right?" Shigeru raised his eyebrow while trying to hide an obvious smirk. Sayaka slapped his arms hardly, getting annoyed that her husband was referring to their shotgun marriage. _

_Akihito shook his head slowly, unable to form words. _

_"Did something go wrong with your work?" his mother asked worriedly, her voice dropping a decibel. She was starting to get worried over her child's timid behaviour. Akihito was never __timid, nor was he the one to sit down staring at a mug as if the object had offended him. _

_"I..." Akihito began while gripping his mug tighter for support. "I was diagnosed with __Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis_ _last month__." _

_There was an absolute silence. No one was daring to speak. Akihito's parents were trying to figure out what their son has caught. Was it the same as syphilis? Was it dangerous? _

_Looking at his parents' expression, Akihito knew that they didn't quite understand the dire situation he was in. Seeing no matter how he tried to soften the blow, it was still inevitable when the reality drops. Squeezing his eyes shut for the last time, Akhito snapped his head up, eyes looking straight at both his parents... delivering the final blow. _

_"I'm dying and I don't know how many years I have left" his voice was crystal clear. There were no tears in his eyes, or a hint of doubt. He bare his soul for the world to see._

_It took almost a minute before his mother spoke. Her voice an octave higher than usual, her face was masked with terror but she tried to nonetheless to smile as if she had just heard a joke._

"_Aki, honey… don't joke with us like that" Sayaka chokes out while trying to smile. Her hands tremble as she tried to cover her eyes._

"_Shigeru, tell him… tell him it's not funny!" she pleaded desperately for her husband's support. Shigeru eyed Sayaka deeply before shaking his head slowly._

"_Sayaka…" was all he managed to say. _

_That was all it took before a single tear trailed down Sayaka's cheek and a hysterical cry followed suit. _

It took awhile for his mother's hysterical tears to subside as she had cried herself to sleep while in the arms of her only child. Akihito had expected his mother to react the way she did, but it was heart breaking when his father gave him a tight hug and cried silently. His body didn't shook and the only indication that the older Takaba was crying was from the dampness Akihito felt on his shoulder.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

**Omake: Back in the days…**

"Give her some time" Shigeru had said with a pat on Akihito's shoulder. "Your mom might look like she's breaking, but when the time comes she's the toughest one out there" he added before sending his son off. He had wanted Akihito to stay, but his stubborn son had promised to come by every other week to visit from now on. He knew it was a waste of breath to argue with his son regarding his well-being. Seeing that even at young age, Akihito has been independent ever since the death of his grandmother, Ritsuka.

Shigeru's gaze followed his son's figure until Akihito turned towards a corner. He sighed deeply as he closed the door. His gaze dropped at a window seat that Ritsuka had often occupied during rainy days. Suddenly, a memory long forgotten flooded his mind.

_The day was just like this. Damp and gloomy. Shigeru shrugs off his raincoat before entering the house with "I'm back!". Most days, his mother would greet him with a "Welcome Back!", but there was no sign of her. He found her later, sitting on a window seat that was directly facing the front gate. Her eyes vacant as she stares blankly at the window. Her eyes drawn at the gates, as if waiting for someone to come. Always, always searching for the said figure._

_Shigeru knew, his mother had been battling depression ever since his father died. Some days she would look just fine, but days such as this bring her true feelings to the surface. She would cry when she thought no one was looking. Sometimes in the confines of her room, other times when she recalls the times she had spent with her beloved. _

_Though she tried to keep her front, Shigeru always knows. He knew that sometimes her mother would look at the knives for far too long. He knew that she never liked to look at the mirrors hung around the house anymore. So he did what he thought was necessary, at night when things gets too quiet, Shigeru would wrapped the kitchen knives in a cloth and secretly stashed it away in another compartment. He took down the mirrors around the house and replaces I with the pictures he took._

_When they hit a financial crisis, Shigeru would always find a way to help lessen the burden. Either though selling his photographs, doing odd jobs for a studio or even trading his things for easy money. He even tried out the lottery bucket when push comes to shove. Even then, his mother would try to keep a front that he knew would break if she kept on bottling her feelings inside. _

_He gazes worriedly at his mother, while he sat beside her. He knew her train of thought has yet again brought her inside another episode of "what if" things had been different. Shigeru did not want to pry open her thoughts, he just wanted to convey to her that he was there every step of the way if she is willing to share the feelings that had been plaguing her with him. _

_So he sat and waited. Waited until she finally speaks. _

"_Even though I know he's gone, my eyes still search for him. My heart still lingers at the thought that he would come back, walking through that gate with his smile and said: Why the long face?" his mother began with a sad smile. _

"_I know… I know that he sacrificed his life for another. But sometimes my inner demons would just whisper and said "If only that person died instead of him". Then I would snapped back to the present time, and I would feel even guilty than before. I couldn't face that person's family without feeling these indescribable emotion. When I look at them… I feel like that they are the reason why he is no longer here. When in fact, it was him who had made this choice," sobs ripples out of her throat as she tried to continue on. _

"_Sometimes, I would hate him. Blame him for making me like this. I became selfish… I became vain. I'd wished he wasn't such a selfless man…that he would disregard everything else but himself. I wished for it so much so… that I began to forget why I'd loved him in the first place. That one thing I'd always love was that one thing that took him away from me… forever" she looks at Shigeru with tears in her eyes. Battling her hardest not to crumble in front of her only child. _

"_But some other time__, I think that it was better if I knew he would go. Like those people who caught disease. At least I could steel my heart and get ready for the goodbye. But no, he was gone just like that... kissing me goodbye like he always does and walked through that door… I would've never thought that would be our last time together" Ritsuka finally wiped her tears away and smiled at Shigeru. Her eyes seeming to gain a new strength. _

_That was the last time he had seen her cried from sadness. When Sayaka gave birth to Akihitio, Shigeru saw his mother's world seems to colourize and her happiness lasted until she closed her eyes for the final time. All because she saw a glimpse of him in Akihito and his ever loving son was always there for her. Lifting off her depression and she was finally free of the painful memories. _

Shigeru snapped back to the present time. Blinking his tears away. The thought of both his mother and his son overwhelming him. Now that he was here, in this situation, he doesn't agree with his mother's thoughts at all.

"Now that I know how this feels, I don't think you would prefer this kind parting mom" Shigeru uttered to the empty room, picturing his ever loving mother sitting on the window seat with a smile of her face.

Death is still death. When it happens, your heart would break no matter what the circumstances are.


	9. Chapter 8: The Threat

**Title: **A secret to my grave

**Author: **creamymint

**Summary: **"Why didn't you tell me, Akihito? Why?" Asami snarl dangerously, hovering over Akihito. "Even if I told you, you can't fix this Asami. Not this time."

**Word Count: **3039

**Disclaimer: **All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Author's Note: **I've successfully submitted my thesis after some difficulties. God, I'm not doing that again! *cringe* I'm sorry for the long Hiatus, but being a final year student is not easy especially since you have those final year projects. But anyway, I'll be free again at the end of January next year (that's the moment when I'll be submitting my final project for good!). So expect the next update around then! Sorry again to all my beloved readers~ Enjoy the chapter~ (Oh yeah, beware of grammars and whatnots, I still have problems with that hehe)

Ps: Oh my god, is this the moment everyone has been waiting for? Or is it not? Hurm…

**Chapter 8: The Threat **

Akihito sat in the dark curled up to his knees in front of the full size window, overlooking the city's skyline. His feelings were in a mess as he recalled the outburst in the Takaba's household just a few hours earlier. He'd cried his heart out at the park on the way back, his tears had long dried up and now a sense of emptiness weighs in his heart.

The abject horror his parents had portrayed made his heart squeeze so painfully that he wished he could tear his heart out and be rid of it for good. He knew what would happen once those words were uttered. He knew that it would change everything from now on. He'd imagined how it would feel like and that is why he'd made the effort to steel his heart as much as he could. But he hadn't expected to _feel_ this much. He hadn't known that it could _hurt this much_.

He thought he was ready, but in fact he was far from ready. Something within him breaks the moment he admitted his conditions aloud. Somewhere inside his mind, he knew he was dying before. Heck, he'd been dwelling on how unfair it was for him to contact this rare disease. What had he done to deserve such cruel ending?

Now, it was strangely different. Everything feels so… _real_. This now, this moment, this present was his reality. As much as it hurts, and as much as he feels like running away from this doom, he knew there was no point in denying it any further. He was dying and there's nothing in this world that could prevent that.

A dreadful chill consumed his being as if he was plunged into ice cold water. Akihito tighten his hold on his knees as he shudder for his future. He was planning to tell Asami that night, but now he was having second thoughts. He doubts that he could handle another revelation. He wanted to stand on his own and not crumble into a mess of tears in front of the older man. He wanted to show that he could handle it well enough without the help of the devious man.

Now though, he doubted himself. Could he really handle it? Telling his parents was enough to cripple his heart for a lifetime. Then what would he feel when he admitted this to Asami? How worse could this feeling get? How would he deal with this feeling afterwards?

These were the questions that had been lingering in his mind ever since he got back to the penthouse. Sitting in front of the most beautiful scenery in Tokyo didn't help much. In fact, it manifested Akihito's fear of the reality. He was in a pinch and he didn't know what he had to do.

As if sensing his master's dilemma, Hope nuzzles his nose at Akihito's right cheek earning a small smile from the young youth. Ruffling Hope behind its ears, Akihito's smile widens as he continues to pat Hope's head gently while the dog sat closely to his side. The ever diligent Faith sat dutifully beside his left while watching his every movement. As if calculating the right moment to steer Akihito away from any dangerous thought.

"Relax…I'm not going to do something stupid Faith" Akihito chuckles at Faith's behaviour. Faith walks closer to him and practically jumped into Akihito's embrace as if trying his hardest to convey that he knows what his master is going through and that Akihito was not alone in this.

Hugging Faith in return, Akihito sighed in content. There's nothing in this world that could describe how much he cherished these two beautiful souls beside him. They somehow understood him better than anyone and Akihito felt he is fortunate to have them beside him that very moment. Their two pair of molten golden eyes sometimes reminds him of his beloved bastard.

Akihito's gaze wonders towards the outline of the buildings outside. His mind once again reminded of his predicament.

_If you were in my shoes, what would you do Asami?_ He ponders to himself.

"If he is no use for me, get rid of him" a familiar cold voice broke the silence in the air.

Shocked, Akihito turned towards the voice. He was so occupied with his thoughts that he didn't realize the beeping sound produced by unlocking the front door. Akihito was momentarily blinded by the light streaming through from the corridor as Asami slid inside with a final nod to Kirishima before shutting the door close.

Akihito reached for his phone and pressed a button to illuminate it in the dark. He checks the time and was surprised to see that it was only half past eleven. It was rare for Asami to come home that early. Most of the time, Akihito would be awaken in the wee hours of the night before his majesty would grace him with his presence.

Asami immediately turned on the light and headed straight towards their bedroom. He didn't seem to notice his presence though, as the couch shielded him from sight. And Akihito couldn't blame the older man as he kind of relay that he'll be staying over his parents tonight just that morning. But if Asami paid enough attention, he could easily sense Akihito's presence like he usually does.

Akihito could sense that something was amiss as the older man seems to be preoccupied by something. Judging from Asami's facial features, with his eyebrows knitted together in a tight deadly look something had definitely happen and it was serious enough to plague Asami's mind like that.

Akihito continues to silently watch over Asami in his spot. The older man seems tight somehow. As if he was still in his business mode and that was what struck Akihito as strange. Asami never bring his work home, unless it was absolutely necessary. And by "absolutely necessary", it means serious business that could possibly turn into dangerously deadly.

A short curt ringtone was heard before Asami answered it with a sharp reply. There was a moment of absolute silence as Asami patiently hears the report status presented presumably by his ever diligent secretary. Akihito was caught off guard once again when Asami finally speaks. His voice dropped a few degrees below the zero Celsius.

"Bring him to Sion but don't touch him. I'll interrogate him myself" Asami replied venomously. Akihito could feel the chill down his spine as he was once again reminded that his lover was not a man anyone could mess around with.

"Set Suoh to watch over Akihito from now on" Asami continued giving curt instruction to Kirishima. "Until I flush out the mole, we can't trust our own men. I don't want a repeat of today, Kirishima. Do you understand?" he emphasizes his words with deadly accuracy before ending the call. Akihito could only imagine what Kirishima was feeling at the very moment.

Akihito guessed correctly. It seems like Asami is being attacked by his own men and that surprises Akihito more than he thought. Most of Asami's men were loyal to him. They worshipped the land that Asami walks on and treated him with absolute respect. It baffles him how such loyal men could betray Asami without a second thought.

_What could have made them possibly change side that easily? _He wrecked his brain to as he tried to make sense all of these.

Seeing how Asami is worked up with the current situation, Akihito could only push his predicament aside for the moment and try to work out a solution to help Asami in any way he can. Building up speculations from pieces of conversations and supported by reasonable doubt is his forte after all.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

A headache was wrecking through his skull as Asami tried to chain his surging anger in place. Bronislav had played him through his own men and that had cost him millions of dollars tonight. His merchandise had been swapped half way from Korea and he had been specifically clear that he wanted his own men to handle the custom in Japan as he didn't trust Min Ho's man.

He would have never guessed that his men would willingly work under Bronislav and handed his guns to the Russian man directly under his nose. Bronislav might be the top gun in Russia, but the man was not an employer someone would willingly pledge loyalty to. He was ruthless like a mad cow. He would kill his own men and step on their bodies if he needs to. He is the opposite of Asami as Asami takes care of him own. What falls under his wing will be taken good care of.

Asami dictates his men not with fear, but with a sense of authority and respect. Sure he would sometimes unleash his ruthless side, just to keep them in their place. Maybe he should re-evaluate his modus operandi now, seeing how his method had backfired.

"You should check the reason behind your men's betrayal closely, Asami. I don't think they're bribed into this" a familiar clear voice spoke nonchalantly. Asami's eyes widen in surprise when he realized that it belongs to his young lover. The brat was sitting idly behind the couch overlooking the full size window with the two dogs.

Asami was amazed at how he can be oblivious to the brat's presence until now. His mind must have been more disturbed than he thought. Asami arched an eyebrow at his lover before enquiring suspiciously.

"I assumed you're there from the very beginning? Weren't you supposed to be at your parent's place?" Asami asked suspiciously as he walks closer to the boy. "Why were you sitting in the dark, Akihito?"

Akihito just shrugs it off, as if it wasn't important. Asami's ever sharp eyes notices the red rimmed around the brat's eyes and slight puffy eye bags under his eyes immediately. It looks like he was crying before Asami stepped into their sanctuary.

"You were crying" it wasn't a question, but rather a fact of what he could see. Crouching beside Akihito, Asami gently traces his thumb under Akihito's eye using his right hand.

"What happened?" he asked his lover gently while gazing straight into those hazel eyes. Asami has noticed the sullen look that the boy has been wearing lately. Sometimes he catches the boy staring blankly at the window, lost in thought. When enquired, the younger man would only laugh it off saying that remembers the time he'd spent with his grandmother.

Akihito has been somewhat strange ever since he got back from that overseas business trip. As much as he was pleased that Akihito was not involved in any dangerous lookout, it was ultimately strange if the boy seems to prefer to do something that he was so against before. Asami couldn't really point out what was wrong with the boy, since his personality was still intact and most importantly… those fiery hazel eyes. They seemed to be burning as brightly as ever.

Asami has been accustomed to his lover's behaviour since it shows in his eyes most of the time. Like the most glaring example, the Hong Kong incident. Those fiery eyes were clouded with fear and utter relief when they finally reunited again. It took weeks before his lover was able to get back to his feet and bouncing around like the Hong Kong event had ever even happened.

But this, he was puzzled over this strange like vacant behaviour.

"Nothing important… just had a… disagreement with my parents, that's all" Akihito replied with a shrug, pleading with his eyes for Asami to just stop with his questions.

Asami narrowed his eyes, trying to see if he could grouch any weird signals from Akihito's body language. All he could get was that the boy was sad and he wasn't faking it when he said he had a "disagreement" with his parents. About what, he'll find out later. But for now he'll comply with those silently pleading eyes.

"Asami, why did your men betray you?" Akihito asked, changing into his journalist mode.

"What makes you think I would discuss my dealings with a journalist, Akihito?" Asami flashed his trademark smirk before standing up walking towards the liqueur cabinet to pour a glass of Bourbon for himself. He could hear Akihito grown, dissatisfied that we was dismissed from that conversation.

"Oh, come on!" Akihito objects and stood up. "I'm not asking you to reveal your operations. God knows what went wrong. It could've been the fact that Kirishima was sleeping with Suoh and you thought that was a breach of contract for all I care!" he stops when Asami gave him the wide eyed amused smile. Laughter evident in his golden orbs.

"What? They're totally sleeping together! Not like I care, but… who tops anyway?" Akihito suddenly ponders at the thought. Asami could only chuckle at image of his secretary and closest bodyguard as an item. That would be a sight to see.

"I will tell Kirishima that you're somewhat… interested in his sex life. I'm sure he'll indulge you with the details" Asami said in humour as he sips his Bourbon while maintaining eye contact with Akihito. The boy's face turned a shade of red before he dismissed the thought.

"No seriously, Asami. I'm trying to figure out why your men turned against you!" Akihito continued on, trying to pry open Asami's reaction. "As far as I know, your men worship the ground you walk on. And I don't think bribing them with money or riches will be enough. They're like your crazy fanboys, and fanboys doesn't change idols within a day. They're a devoted bunch!" Akihito reasoned while scratching the back of his head cutely.

"Disregarding fanboys and idols" Asami replied coolly, trying not to get fixated that his lover just compared his organization with a group of pretty faced idols "what are you implying, Akihito?" Though he knew where the boy was taking the conversation, as he too felt it plausible since the very beginning, he indulged his lover anyway.

"I just thought like… you know, someone used their loved ones against them. Threaten them to do as they asked or they'll get hurt or something. Just like what Fei Long did to me with Kou and Takato…" Akihito trailed off at the mention of Fei Long. It seems the effect of Hong Kong still weighs in his mind sometimes.

"Even if that's true, the damaged is done and I have to put them on a leash before it escalated out of control. I can't afford to be put under surveillance by my own rival" Asami reasons, hoping that Akihito would understand and do not try to pry into it further.

"Then why don't you make the mole into a double spy?" Akihito voices out. Asami's hand stopped in the middle of placing the glass on the table when he heard the suggestion. His mind quickly simulates all the possibilities of using the mole against Bronislav. It would be like a double edged sword. Bronislav wouldn't know what hit him then.

Asami wouldn't doubt that Bronislav would never consider this method since he was a man that would shoot without question once betrayed. Akihito was right; using the mole would be effective first step to win against Bronislav. If he played his cards right, Bronislav's family would crumble like dominos effect.

A playful smirk graced his lips as he gaze over Akihito. Well, isn't it a surprise that his little kitten is now slowly morphing into a brilliant Bengal tiger? It's time to pound his prey before he breaks off his leash. _Time to play, kitten_ Asami thought as his eyes glint dangerously.

Sensing the changes of Asami's behaviour, Akihito took a step back before turning to flee for his dear life. But Asami was quicker and in less than a few seconds Akihto was entrapped in his embrace.

"Why Akihito… you've been such a good pet, as your master I should give you a reward" Asami whispered hotly against Akihito's ear.

"I'm not your…!" his protests was muffled as his lips were captured into a hot passionate kiss.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

"Separate them into different rooms. I'll interrogate them one by one, privately" Asami instructed Kirishima through the phone while smoking on the bed. Akihito was still dead to the world after Asami performed every trick written in the book Kama Sutra on him. The poor boy was exhausted when Asami was _finally_ satiated. He couldn't get enough of his lover's taste. It was intoxicating like drugs and deep down Asami was willing to get addicted to this drug for a lifetime.

_Talking about the brat…_ Asami thought of his unusual behaviour. It's time to act on his promise earlier. He would find out what had been plaguing his boy's mind lately even if it means using his business secretary for his own personal reasons.

"While you do that, Kirishima…. Find out what Akihito has been doing these past months. Starting from when we returned from the overseas business" Asami added into an extra work in Kirishima's already busy schedule. But seeing how his secretary never pries for any information, he only replied positively to the request.

"Is there anything specific for me to take notice, Asami-sama?" his ever diligent secretary replied seriously.

Asami ponders the question and couldn't specifically point out what he had wanted to find out. "Find out what assignments he has been doing, where he's been frequenting and did he meet with anyone new over these past months" Asami added after a thought.

"Yes, Asami-sama. I'll bring the report as soon as I get everything in order" Kirishima replied politely.

"And Kirishima? I want you to handle this on your own. I don't want any prying eyes in this matter" Asami warned in a deadly tone. He was serious that he didn't want anyone he didn't fully trust following Akihito around the city.

"Yes, Asami-sama."

"Lastly, Kirishima…" Asami trailed off.

"Yes, Asami-sama?" Kirishima asked enthusiastically.

"Between you and Suoh… who tops?" there was an absolute silence at the end of the phone before Kirishima politely excused himself to sort everything in Asami's schedule for the day.


	10. Omake: The phone call that

**Title:** The phone call that changes everything... (A secret to my grave universe)

**Author:** creamymint

**Word Count:** 404

**Disclaimer:** All familiar characters belong to Yamane Ayano.

**Summary: **Asami's phone call leads to a surprising discovery.

**AN:** First of all, please don't kill me! Took me awhile to finally write again, I've been facing the longest writer's block I've ever had in my entire life (period). It might be due to stress (over various circumstances), and the weather is not helping much (as in the haze is back at full force!). For my readers, I'm so sorry for the late update and for presenting only a short omake/drabble when I'm finally updating again. But fear not, I am in the middle of writing chapter 9 (tho still at the pace of a snail as the result of the long writer's block). Once again, I'm sorry for the long absence! Hope this will quench your thirst a bit!

It never occurred to Kirishima that this day would come. Never in a million years' worth of his incarnations' knowledge would he be properly prepared for this day. He was a damn brilliant secretary-slash-bodyguard-slash-anything that Asami-sama deems he should be doing; that includes mundane practices such as housekeeping or overseeing his employer's wellbeing (in which he'd already efficiently calculated the success rate of Asami-sama's business negotiation when the said crime lord is kept blissfully happy by imputing The Brat into the equation). He, Kirishima Kei, that might as well be the modern time Sun Tzu, was rendered utterly speechless by his employer's (almost on the borderline of sexual harassment) enquiry, that could probably be in line of complete curiosity or blackmail worthy as long as Asami-sama was concerned.

"_Between you and Suoh… who tops?" _

Kirishima, who has never stuttered even at the tender age of three, _almost _stutteredhumiliatingly. Thankfully, he didn't. But then he realized he'd made a terrible mistake by keeping a silent front (as in he didn't deny the probability of their relationship or lack of thereof, as what he have with Suoh is completely platonic in sense). And seeing the appropriate time frame to deny such prying enquiry has just flown out of the window without rising other somewhat cringe worthy questions, he made the most dignified decision in his life… that is to avert the topic completely.

The moment Kirishima ended the phone call, he came to some staggering realization:

1) Asami-sama thought that it was probable for him to have a somewhat physical relationship with his Chief Bodyguard, which in conclusion made him bi in Asami-sama's view (seeing how Asami-sama knew he had a steady girlfriend once).

2) Asami-sama didn't reprimand them, which means he somewhat gives his blessing.

3) Kirishima didn't feel disgusted over the thought of actually having a physical relationship with Suoh, when in fact he has never been attracted to any male specimen in his life (aside from Asami-sama that is, and who can blame him?).

4) Does that make him somewhat… gay for Souh?

5) And why in world is his mind conjuring up images of naked Suoh?

With a groan, Kirishima gently message his temple, fighting against the impending headache that will surely crash into him like train wreck. He didn't have enough spare time to sleep with all that has been happening lately…much less having a full blown sexual identity crisis.


	11. Chapter 9: The Conflict

**AN: **Goodness me! Time flies so fast when you're actually doing something. I was preoccupied with my last short semester. Had to sort out a few things, moving out of my apartment in uni, job hunting, driving class… and this Monday I have exams and I'm writing this. Hahaha! Seriously, I need to stop and catch a breath. Here's the long awaited chapter! I still don't have a beta-reader so beware~

**Chapter 9: The Conflict**

_He didn't particularly know how he got there. He was just… there. Staring almost sadly into those molten golden eyes that cuts deep into his soul. Those heated eyes that were laced with anger, sadness and a hint of betrayal. It was too much for his heart to bear. His gaze lowered, unable to challenge it head on. There was nothing he could do to stop it. They were too far gone now… both of them. _

_Was this the end? He thought. Will their estranged relationship hold on now? After all the deception, lies and manipulation… could this fragile relationship they had last? _

_A dark humorless laugh bubbles up in his chest at the thought. True, he was obviously out of his mind when he took those steps. He'd thought he'd made it out of love. To shield his most beloved from the inevitable truth that could break their world._

_But was it really for love? _

_No, it wasn't. It was for his selfish needs. He thought he was being selfless. Sacrificing himself for the happiness of the ones he hold dear. He fooled himself into believing it again and again. _

_But Asami… Asami had seen through it. _

_Now there they were, standing face to face with everything on stake. Asami lowering his armor that protected his being and emotions his whole life. In return, Akihito cast away the smokescreens he's been deluding Asami with all these months. They bear their hearts for the other to see. Showing their most vulnerable state the other has ever seen. _

_This is it. The final move in their long winding game. No more lies. No more deception. No more manipulation. _

_There these two stood. Two people… two lovers… two hearts, but only one outcome: the decision. _

_Now the question that begs to be asked: Who'll make the first move? _

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

A few months earlier…

Akihito let out a big yawn as he snuggled deeper into the linens; wrapping the comforter around his body like a burrito to shield away from the cold air. His muscles ached in a good way. Seeing as he was stretched beyond his limits, actively indulging Asami in their nightly activities. It was a first for Akihito to admit that waking up like this wasn't such a bad wakeup call after all.

Only then did he noticed the said golden eyed man was nowhere in sight.

_What time is it?_ Akihito thought as he poked his head out of the warm confines of the comforter to look at the bedside clock. It was a quarter past eight in the morning. Kind of strange for Asami to be awake and about in weekends. Strange, but not surprising if he recalled the serious business the yakuza had to deal with last night.

Akihito thought he heard voices coming from the living room. He could recognize one of the voices even in his sleep. That deep baritone that sends pleasurable shivers down his spine… who else has that kind of hypnotic voice? No one aside from his bastard, that's for sure!

Dragging the comforter along to cover up his nakedness, Akihito walk towards the door and peeked into the living room. True enough, Asami was there dressed impeccably minus the coat as it was draped at the head of the sofa Asami was sitting on. Ever so present, Kirishima and Suoh, sitting at opposite of Asami seeming to be buried in paperwork. As Asami sipped his hot coffee, Kirihima begins to efficiently note the important points of their finding and adding some changes when Asami place an input of his own. It wasn't an unusual sight as they do this all the time. Especially if they need to be all secretive, not like Akihito cared since he'll not be included in even if he asked.

But today, the scene warms up his heart as he saw two additional presence in the room. On Asami's left was Faith, laying its head on its two paws, tail wagging left and right happily as Asami almost absentmindedly stroke Faith's head. Akihito giggle as he notices Hope playfully nudges its nose at Suoh's leg, trying to get attention and licking Suoh's hand when he finally gives up and offers the said hand with a defeated sigh.

God knows what evil deeds they're planning, but the serious atmosphere was reduced by fifty percent now that the two dogs were slowly diverting the group's attention. It's a giggle worthy scene in Akihito's book. Who would've thought yakuzas to be playing with dogs while discussing whose head that'll be served on a silver platter that day?

If only there's a "Yakuza Weekly" magazine. Akihito would definitely send this photo to the publisher just for the heck of it. Spread the love as they say. He wonders what Asami will do to that company if it really does get published. There's no wondering what'll happen to him! That perverted yakuza really needs a new hobby…

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

"The IP was traced back to an IT company owned by the Kanzaki corp. I've set up a meeting with Kanzaki Hideo at 3pm this evening at Miyagi. He seems to be unaware of the security breech and willing to work with us to find out the culprit" Kirishima reported his findings while sending Asami's schedule using Bluetooth to his boss's phone.

Ever since Sion's server was infected by a malware, they had avoided using any computers or websites that was connected directly to Sion's database. The malware didn't appear malevolent, as it was like a bug that was programmed to run in the background. When Kirishima digs deeper, that is when he found out that it was a spyware. A type of hacking that would enable a third party to have control over the computer, copy relevant data and monitor the user's screen.

Sion security system was programmed to automatically detect such spyware and delete it upon recognition. It was impossible for the spyware to be transferred from outside source as the only way was if the spyware was downloaded into the server. No such transaction has took place within the last six months. The only other way was an inside job. Someone from Sion has directly transferred the spyware into the main database server and group it as harmless when the system asked for permission to run the spyware.

With Asami's permission, Kirishima had to cut off the main server that has been withholding Sion's business dealings and transaction data for years to avoid a deep security breech. Thankfully, the virus was detected on the early stage and it was prevented. Asami had ordered to keep the security breech on low and maintain a front of aloofness even among their colleague.

Asami instructed they had set up a dummy server to avoid any suspicions and alerting the hacker. Now they're feeding them with false information and slowly, but surely, luring the culprit into a trap. It's a tedious work, but with high probability of success.

"Can we trust him, Asami-sama?" Suoh spoke up his concerns regarding the upcoming meeting with the Kanzaki heir.

"If Kanzaki was the mastermind, he wouldn't be so easily traced. Besides, he's not someone who is willing to be in deep waters with me" Asami replied simply while placing the coffee cup on the table.

"What if it's a reverse psychology tactic? Maybe we should observe more and tread this carefully, Asami-sama" it was Kirishima's turn to voice his uncertainty over the plan.

"Or maybe you're thinking too much, Kirishima" Asami teased with a knowing smirk, clearly withholding something from Kirishima and Suoh. Kirishima knew that Asami wouldn't be overly confident unless he is certain that the cat is already in the bag even before the deal was officially sealed.

"Asami-sama, it would be wise if you shed on some light. Marching us blindly into the battlefield would jeopardize the whole operation" Kirishima diligently replied, clearly unamused by his employer's secrecy at this time.

"Telling you now would definitely jeopardize the whole operation" Asami countered back, his tone becoming serious. "Don't you trust me, Kirishima?"

Taken aback, Kirishima replied "Of course, Asami-sama. With my life"

"Good. Then trust my words. Kanzaki is not the one. Bronislav wouldn't be able to use him even if he wants to" with a final nod, Asami stood up and retreat towards the master bedroom.

Kirishima and Suoh could only gape after the retreating back. It wasn't like Asami to act secretive with them. Their employer would usually drill the plan into their brain until they could practically do it in their sleep. It's like grasping straw in this one.

"You have any idea what he's planning?" Suoh whispered when the bedroom door closes behind Asami.

Kirishima could only shook his head. "God knows what's inside that man's head."

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

A black limo swiftly came to a halt directly in front of Miyagi. They arrived perfectly on time with Suoh's driving skills. Kirishima didn't book out the whole place like usual to make the meeting seem more natural and inconspicuous. He did however book a private room and if shit hits the fan, Kirishima has blueprints of the emergency exits inside the restaurant engrained in his brain.

Kirishima and Suoh was a bit skeptical over it, but since Asami had asked them to trust him, there's nothing else they could do now. Kirishima hopes that it wasn't just a wishful thinking to waltz inside the restaurant without checking the parameters for any threat to his boss' life.

"Don't be so stiff, Kirishima. Learn a bit from Suoh. He's handling this quite well" Asami mused while arching his eyebrow at the stiff secretary.

It wasn't as easy as it looks. Suoh might look calm, but Kirishima knew that he was currently blocking off the urge to make a parameter sweep to avoid any surprise attack. His face might not show it, but the twitch in his right hand every now and then definitely is! He'd worked with Suoh long enough to know his quirks. And right now, even the blonde bodyguard is unsure of what to expect from Kanzaki.

When they arrived at the private room, there were no signs of Kanzaki's bodyguards. Usually in meetings like this, there should be at least one that will stand at attention at the door. Does that mean Kanzaki didn't bring any or he doesn't have any bodyguards in particular?

Kanzaki was already seated on one of the chairs when Asami announce his arrival. On his right was a woman in a black suit, Kirishima presumes her to be Kanzaki's secretary, that quickly stood up and bowed in respect towards Asami.

She then turned towards Kanzaki and politely said "Kanzaki-sama, Asami-sama has arrived" while gesturing towards Asami. Kanzaki stood up and shook Asami's hand before they settled around the table. A waitress came to take their orders before politely excusing herself to place the orders.

"Asami-san, what is this security breech I'd been informed about? Is it true that it was traced back to my company? Before anything else, I assure you Asami-san, the Kanzaki corp has not aided the culprit in any way… that is unless we're unaware of it" Kanzaki begins diplomatically.

He seems to be truthful with his words, but Kirishima was not swayed. In any case, he'll see where this discussion will go.

"Sion was infected with a certain type of malware that sends our information to a third party. We traced back the hacker's IP and it leads to your company, Kanzaki-san. As simple as that" Asami spoke calmly.

"I'm sure you know that I won't be stupid enough to do such deeds and leads it back directly to my doorstep" Kanzaki replied, unsure of how to actually address the matter. It was not a small matter when a company as big as Sion had a security breech. They could lose billions in a blink of an eye. Serious matters such as this should not be taken lightly.

"And besides, you hold the decision on whether I will stay on top of Kanzaki corp. You can topple me any day if I do something as stupid as this" Kanzaki added, contemplating on why he was being put in a difficult spot.

"I know you won't, Kanzaki-san. That's why I'm about to propose a deal. I'm certain that one or some of your employees are working with a man that I'm after. Even my men at Sion has been swayed by him and it's not impossible that he's using the same method with yours" Asami replied, leaning against the table as Kirishima pour sake on the cup Asami was holding.

"What are you proposing?"

"I want to send in one of my men to your company and infiltrate your server to trace the culprit. With your permission of course. We can only do so much from the outside. The inside however, is a different story. Your company system blocks any further interference from tracing the user IP, that's why we could only obtain information up to your company's IP" Asami explained, it was only courtesy to ask for permission from Kanzaki to look into his company's server. It wasn't a proposal, it was a demand. Even if Kanzaki didn't give his permission, Asami will send his men to get what he wants any other way. It was just a way to be polite by saying: we'll do this whether you like it or not.

"Do I have any other choice?" Kanzaki replied, defeated. "How do you want this?"

"Simple, I just want an employee ID card and a full access of your database. Set up a cubicle for my man so that he could blend in. I don't want to alert anyone on your side, so we'll be keeping this low and do this as real as it gets" Asami relay his instructions and plans.

"That's it? I thought I would have to do more than that" Kanzaki replied. Bewilderment evident on his face.

"If you start investigating, it'll raise a red flag even before we could find the culprit. I don't want him to run. It'll be a hassle and I need it done as soon as possible. I need to settle this once and for all"

The food arrived before Kanzaki could reply his piece. Asami excused himself to the restroom, Kirishima and Suoh immediately stood to follow him. They didn't go far when Asami shrugged off his coat, asking them to do the same. Confused by Asami's strange request Kirishima just stared while Suoh slowly unbuttoned his coat. It took Kirishima a few seconds to actually follow Asami's request and they soon head back to the room.

Kanzaki was politely waiting for them to return as he didn't touch any of the food. Confusion was evident on his face when he saw all the men had taken off their coats. Kanzaki look over his secretary, she was about to gesture towards Asami when Asami signals her and point towards Suoh.

"Kanzaki-sama, Asami-sama is on the left" the secretary said while pointing towards Suoh.

Kanzaki look over Suoh and laughs. "What are you playing today, Asami-san? Thankfully Akiko is with me, so you can't trick me today. Please, have a seat so that we can finish discussing." Kanzaki gestures towards Suoh to take a seat. The seat Asami had just recently vacated.

Now, both Kirishima and Suoh could only gape. Not quite understanding what had actually transpired.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

"Face blindness" Asami simply state while smoking his favorite Dunhill. They were now seated inside the limo, Kirishima and Suoh trying to understand what had happened with Kanzaki. It was definitely a weird experience as Kanzaki had genuinely thought Suoh was Asami. Not until Asami corrected him at the end. Even when it was obvious how different his stature and voice was from Suoh, Kanzaki couldn't identify the two even if it was staring at his face.

"Hideo was one of my investment. I held fifteen percent of shares in Kanzaki corp then. When Kanzaki corp's board was picking the heir, they favor Hideo's step brother more than him because of his condition. I saw Hideo's potential and approach the Kanzaki's head. Propose a way so that Hideo could inherit the company. We make a deal. Hideo gets Akiko, my secretary then; to be his eyes, while I signed off my fifteen percent shares to Hideo so that now he can be the highest shareholder. Of course with a condition attached." Asami said with a satisfied smirk, as of relieving one of his victories from the past.

"What was the condition, Asami-sama?" Intrigued, Kirishima asked with genuine interest.

"If Akiko ever deems Hideo to be unfit to resume his position, all the shares that Hideo holds; including thirty percent he inherited; will be revoked and will be restored to me"."

"That's what Kanzaki-san means when he said he can be toppled over by you" Kirishima nodded, finally understanding his boss' scheme. "It was all a calculated move to get a hold of the company?" Kirishima asked in amazement.

Asami's smirk widens as he cast his gaze outside of the window. The sun was setting and it was getting dark fast. The last sunrays were shyly bidding goodbye as it wave passed the skyscrapers, casting elongated shadows that formed an abstract art on the roads. Asami's smirks turned into a genuine smile as he remembered that a certain someone would definitely love to see such a view. He wonders what mischievous things his kitten was up to right that exact moment.

"Asami-sama" Kirishima interrupted his thoughts. "As per request, I have separated the guards and isolated them for almost eighteen hours now. How should we proceed?"

"Good. They should be agitated and anxious enough" Asami replied as he began to construct a plan for his next step against Bronislav.

~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~A~

Hehehe, I know you're disappointed that Asami is still in the dark about Aki's condition. But I had to make sure that everything is in order for that revelation. To build up a plot and there'll be an epic proportion of betrayal in Asami's view. I'm just gonna say that Bronislav is a master of mind manipulation and you're so gonna hate him. Ufufufufu~


	12. Chapter 10: The Gamble (Part 1)

AN: A lot of things happened these past months that I think I've been living in fast-forward or something. To summarize it up, I graduated, got my first job, and resigned my first job, move houses (again), still looking for a job and basically trying to get my life back in track. Anyway, this is a very short installment, but I figured its better short than nothing at all. I'm trying to get my rusty writing back in line. So, here it is! And thank you so much for all the reviews and encouragement! It helps… A LOT!

**Chapter 10: The Gamble (Part 1)**

Masao Takashi knew he was in deep waters the moment he agreed to cross the most powerful man in Japan. He knew, but as of now, he didn't have a choice. He'd pledged and swore his life to the man who'd saved his life at the tender age of eighteen. In fact, he'd willing shed blood countless of times for the man's cause. The organization rewards its employees handsomely for their loyalty. But he'd also witnessed how they react towards betrayal.

A quick death would be a blessing for Masao if the crime lord ever sniffs him out.

But for Masao, death in general could actually do him good to end this torment. As his name states, he was a righteous man. It's ironic how he still think himself as a generally good man when in fact he dwells in the underworld's filth. It might be the fact that Asami-sama has never instructed him to do something that is out of his comfort zone. He had a choice in that matter. Working under Asami-sama has always been a choice. They were never forced.

The man might be dangerous, but he was strict and respectable towards his underlings. Asami-sama has never degraded his man. The organization was structured so that members benefitted through each dealings. Bonuses were given to the employee who'd worked hard enough to gain the crime lord's approval. The working hours is flexible. They were even given a generous amount of annual leave.

The more you work, the more you gain. And even if you're a lazy ass punk, you could still survive and live quite a comfortable life with the basic salary. Basically, it's a good deal to work under such a powerful man with favorable conditions.

Masao had never imagined that he would betray such a man. The man who'd given him a second chance in life. He could never construct such situation to occur in his mind. He was just one of Asami-sama's underlings that is of little significance.

Maybe that's why they had chosen him. Someone who could escape, blend and fit with Asami-sama's countless men.

Yes, Masao could never imagined turning his back from the man whom he'd respected since eighteen. That is until… that moment.

The moment a package arrived with a delicate white bow at his doorstep.

* * *

><p>It didn't take long for Asami to sniff out the mole. Humans are weak against pressure. Especially when they're separated from outside influence for hours. An innocent man would remain unaffected in such conditions. They didn't have anything to hide.<p>

However, a man with something worth hiding would feel trapped between those walls. Like a wild animal, they'll remain anxious and unsettled. Such behavior was currently shown by the guard with the name, Masao Takashi.

Asami's mind supplies that he knew the man. Not well enough, but enough to know he was someone that was loyal to a fault. Masao didn't fit his profile of an ambitious mole. He didn't seemed like a person who has eyes for money.

Asami's focus was solely on the monitor. He observed the man closely. He could see the man was obviously guilt ridden. But there was profound sadness in his eyes. Torment in his eyes. The man looked resigned to his fate. As if he would gladly receive whatever punishment Asami deems fit.

"Kirishima, find out everything about this man."

* * *

><p>Masao stood abruptly from the chair when the door opened to reveal Asami himself. He bowed in respect towards the man as Asami sat on the chair opposite of him. He hovers over his chair uncertainly before Asami gestures for him to take a seat as well.<p>

With a heavy heart, Masao sat. Knowing full well that this is it.

How fleetingly short his life has been…but he accepts it. There was nothing to be done now.

The silence stretched as Asami eyed him with a calculated look. The man's cold stare was enough to make Masao sweat like a pig. It felt like forever before Asami spoke.

"How's your wife and daughter faring lately?"

Masao snapped his head up towards Asami in shock. He didn't see that coming. It might be an innocent question for any other person, but seeing this was Asami…

_He knows._

Masao's mouth had dried up. He didn't think he could answer Asami and the crime lord seems to pick up on it as he continued on. Seeming satisfied with Masao's reaction.

"Your neighbor has been quite generous with the information. It seems like both of them have not been seen since last week" Asami stopped, letting Masao absorb that piece of info.

"Is this the reason?" Asami supplied when Masao refused to give any reaction. "Why didn't you come to me? Did you think I wouldn't be able to look after my own? Are you insinuating that I'm incompetent to be trusted?"

"No… Asami-sama...It's just…I just…" Masao shook his head, vehemently denying Asami's statement.

"Then what?" Masao flinched at Asami's commanding tone.

With shaking hands, Masao slipped inside his coat's inner pocket to produce a sleek smartphone. He unlocks the device, tap his gallery folder and opens the picture he'd taken approximately a week ago. Without a word, he showed it to Asami.

The crime lord's eyes widens in surprise. It was a first for Masao to see such reaction inflicted from Asami. Any lesser man would probably react like he did: vomiting his stomach's content.

It was a picture of a white box, with a delicate white bow. It would look innocent enough if it wasn't for the fact that a heart laid in the center. Beside the heart was a finger. A delicate finger that still wore a diamond ring.

"They still have my child" Masao said, almost in a whisper.

* * *

><p>Urgh, Bronislav is a sick bastard!<p>

On a side note, I'm currently working on an otome game with a few of my friends. And surprise, surprise…I'm the writer. If you guys are interested, please do support us! (I'm basically scrapping for food here *cries*) It'll be available for purchase when it's done. Leave a comment if you would like to learn more about us.


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